Practicing gratitude

Let me tell you about what I ate for Thanksgiving. My wife is a wonderful baker and cook, and she did something different this year. She made regular cornbread dressing, but baked it as muffins. She sliced the dressing muffins in half as a base. A layer of homemade cranberry sauce went on. And then on that went smoked barbeque turkey from my favorite barbeque restaurant in Houston. She put poached eggs on top of that, and then covered it in a sage hollandaise. Thanksgiving Eggs Benedict for a Thanksgiving brunch. (The benedicts were so good that nobody even noticed she forgot the pumpkin pancakes she had promised.) It was a very traditional Thanksgiving meal, only prepared in a different way. Everyone I told about the benedicts said something like “that sounds so good! Why didn’t I think of that!?!?”

Gratitude is on my mind lately. Because of Thanksgiving, of course. And also the wave of articles I’ve seen lately about gratitude being essential for good mental health. Like this one. And this one. And this one. I work with stressed-out high school students for a living, so mental health is always on my mind.

Gratitude is also the topic of the newest essay prompt on the Common Application, and I’ve been thinking of ways to advise people who are interested in writing about it.

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

I actually haven’t seen any of the students I work with attempt that essay yet. It seems to be a strangely difficult one to write. I suspect one reason students pass it up is because of the idea that your essay needs to stand out. It needs to be unique and individual. But, to a huge degree, we’re grateful about the same things: family, health, being relatively better off than others, having at least a little bit of stability. And the prompt specifically asks about being “thankful in a surprising way.“ That feels hard to do. Tolstoy wrote one of the most famous opening lines to a novel: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” If you’re in a happy family, it seems, there’s no way to write about your happiness in a unique, surprising way.

I’m no Tolstoy, but I reject the idea that you can’t be both happy and unique. A grateful person can be just as quirky and individual as a miserable person. Someone with no “sob story” can be just as inspiring and worthwhile as someone with far too many sob stories. It may just take some more intentional thought to realize it. To write well about gratitude, we need to do what my wife does and make something both new and traditional. If you’re interested in cultivating gratitude, whether for an application essay, better mental health, or just as a thought exercise, here are some approaches.

Think small. You’re grateful to have a healthy body? Excellent. Now, be more specific. Pick three or four specific body parts, internal and external, and think about why you’re grateful for them. For example, I’m extremely grateful for my nose. Noses don’t get a lot of attention (there’s not q wide variety of jewelry or makeup for noses; ever seen a tattooed nose?), but I pay a lot of attention to my nose. It’s actually where most taste comes from, and I enjoy good food more than I enjoy most anything else. My nose contributes to a lot of my joy. As I get older and my allergies lessen, my nose is less a problem area for me. Fewer sniffles, more flavors. My nose is also a strong reminder of family. My mother’s genes for nose shape must be dominant, because all four of my siblings and I have her nose. Both of my kids have the same nose. My three-month-old niece? Same nose. There’s a variety of hair, height, and eyes in the family, but our noses are a reminder of our shared biology and history.

You can do the same thing for small items in your life. When it comes to gratitude, we tend to focus on the big things: beds, cars, computers, things like that. But what about the small things? All of us should be more grateful for toothbrushes than we are. And door locks. And ice cubes. There are probably many things people have done that you should be thankful for, but that you overlook. They’re probably small things. Work on thinking of some.

What do people praise you for? I ask all my students this question in our first meeting: what do teachers, your family, and other adults praise you for? When say good things about you, what are they? Everyone has difficulty answering this question at first. There’s always a long pause. But then, after they think about it, I hear wonderful things. My teachers praise me for being a leader who can get the group back on track. Everyone says I’m a good writer and can express myself. I’m the person people count on to ask a good question. People say I’m a hard worker. Thinking about what you’re praised for is a great place to think about gratitude. This thing you’re good at: what innate qualities make that possible for you? What people help make it possible? What systems and traditions help make it possible? What habits make it possible, and where did you learn those habits? What continual practice keeps you good at it, and who helps you with that practice? When a leader or a star wins a prize, it’s common to say “I couldn’t have done this without the team that made it possible.” When you get praised for something, think about it the same way. Who are the team that made it possible? Is there anything there to be thankful for in a surprising way?

Not getting what you deserve. Everyone wants to get what they deserve—nobody likes feeling disappointed or cheated But there’s a lot of gratitude to be found in not getting what you deserve sometimes. Start by thinking of times you got more of a good thing than you deserved. The seventh chicken nugget in the six-pack you paid for. The five dollar bill you found on the ground. The teacher who didn’t count a late assignment as being late, or bumped up a grade a little bit. Again, the things above and beyond what we deserve are usually small things, but that doesn’t make them any less available for gratitude.

Getting less than you deserve is often annoying. It’s often unfair. It’s sometimes truly tragic or oppressive. And sometimes it’s a blessing. I know several people who broke an arm or leg as a kid doing stupid things like jumping off the roof just for fun. I did stupid things like that, and deserve at least one broken bone. But somehow I lucked out and got less than I deserved. I’m grateful. At least once that I know of, I wasn’t paying enough attention and ran a stop sign. But there was nobody there to notice or to run into. I deserved an accident, a ticket, getting honked and yelled at. I didn’t get what I deserved, and I’m grateful. It feels good to get what you deserve, but there is often gratitude to be found in getting something other than what you deserved.

None of these exercises—looking at the small things, exploring the roots of what you’re praised for, thinking about the good side of not getting what you deserve—are going to quickly become a response to the Common App prompt about being happy or thankful in a surprising way. But they can eventually lead to a strong response. And even if they don’t, they can help you cultivate that healthy sense of gratitude in ways other than gratitude journals. Nothing against journaling, but it’s nice to know there are more techniques out there.

Here’s to a happy holiday season. I know it can be stressful and difficult, especially for seniors who, on top of all the other things, have applications due soon. Acknowledge and validate the difficult things, don’t try to just ignore them. But also find some small things to be grateful for.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Seniors, it’s time for thank-you notes

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Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth

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Three quick questions with Mary Baldwin University

For Three Quick Questions, I send the same three questions to admission representatives at colleges all over the country, and then I hope to hear back from them. The three questions are meant to probe some of the things that make a school unique but that aren’t easily captured as a stat to go in a book or web search.

Today’s response is from Kit Schulz, Admissions Counselor at Mary Baldwin University in Staunton, Virginia.

What is a course, tradition, program or event that is unique to Mary Baldwin University?

Mary Baldwin University is the first college in Virginia to offer Autism Studies & Applied Behavior Analysis as a major (BA).

This major is available to both residential and online students, with the option to obtain a Masters in ABA in one additional year after undergrad. We are proud to offer this program at Mary Baldwin.

Naturally every college wants to recruit the perfect student--high grades, high test scores, involved in their community, leadership...everything. But what kinds of imperfect students tend to flourish at MBU?

First generation students, which make up 40% of our student population, can thrive at MBU. Our McCree Center for Life Success in our library gives students access to counseling and academic support throughout their undergraduate studies. This is also a place where they can pursue internship opportunities within their field starting their freshman year.

When people come to visit Staunton, what's a place off campus that you recommend they check out while they're there?

As a Mary Baldwin alum, having downtown Staunton within walking distance of our campus is one of the greatest appeals of our school's location.

I would recommend the American Shakespeare Center, which is a couple blocks from our campus. The ASE is integral to our connection to downtown Staunton.

There are also plenty of cozy coffee shops like the By&By, which is on the way if you're headed to the theatre.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

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2. See which other colleges and universities answered the questions.

3. Is there a school you’d like to hear from? Let me know, and I’ll make sure they get the questions.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth. [The banner photo is not of Mary Baldwin University. I use the same photo for all Meet the Class posts so you can spot them easily.]

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What do you want to be easier?

There’s something that I try to make very clear to my clients before I begin working with them. Everyone gets almost exactly the same speech:

I don’t do anything that you can’t do. You don’t need me. A million high school kids graduate every year and go on to college. Most do it without anyone like me helping them. I don’t have any secret techniques or special connections. You won’t get into college thinking that Benjamin Holloway got you there. You’ll probably, hopefully, forget about me. What I do is help you do it more effectively and more efficiently. This is your first and only time going through this, but I go through this with multiple people every year. So that’s something, and it’s not small. But you can do this on your own if you choose.

To be honest, most colleges could make the same sort of statement. You don’t need college, and you certainly don’t need any specific college. The benefits of a college degree are meaningful and real, yet around two thirds of Americans don’t graduate from college. College doesn’t automatically or effortlessly deliver you to your goals. What it does is make you more effective and more efficient at reaching your goals. College doesn’t make things good; it makes things easier.

To find the best colleges for you, spend time thinking about what you want to be easier. It’s not as simple as it sounds. You have to be honest with yourself and think expansively. There are probably several things you would like to be easier, and some of your hopes and expectations you probably don’t talk about openly.

Sometimes the best way to figure out what you want to be easier is to focus on replacing words like “good” and “best” with statements of ease.

Here’s one example: “I want to go to a college with a good chemical engineering department.” Ok. What does “good” mean to you in that sentence? What do you want to become easier? Do you want it to be easier to get a job in chemical engineering directly after college? Do you want to make it easier to get accepted into a graduate program in chemical engineering? Perhaps you want to go to a “good” chemical engineering program because you want to make it easier to decide if chemical engineering is really what you want to do, and you figure that going to a “good” program will make that more clear than going to an “mediocre” program. Maybe the desire, at its core, is more social-emotional than academic: you’ve spent years being a nerd, and you want to make it easier to hang out with other people who are interested in things like chemical engineering; you want to make it easier to belong.

And what if you don’t know your major, or you’re open to changing? When students tell me they’re worried about choosing a college because they have no idea what they want to do, I tell them that’s no problem— liberal arts are really good for undecided people. When I talk about liberal arts colleges being “good” for these students, and what I really mean is they make it easier to explore multiple options while still graduating in four or five years.

Another example: students often tell me that they’re interested in a place with a strong sense of school spirit. That’s perfectly fine, but think about why that’s important to you. What becomes easier? Is it because a school like that will make it easier to set up a lifetime network of friends and job contacts? Will it make it easier to find social events with people your age? Will it make it easier to feel part of a community that will last beyond the four years that you’re in college? Will it make it easier to do your school work, which you’re not super excited about, if you know there are sports events every week, which you are excited about?

I can anticipate some objections to thinking about how colleges make things easier for you. College isn’t supposed to be easy or to make things easy, some will say. It’s about being challenged, being out of your comfort zone, about being exposed to things that make you question your assumptions and even your identity. I don’t disagree—college, at its best, indeed does all those things. But also: any other aspect of life, at its best, will also do those things. College just makes it easier, because there’s a concentration of people and traditions whose job is to challenge you, and there’s also a built-in support system for dealing with the challenges. It’s like going to a gym. You don’t go to a gym because gyms are the only places with heavy objects to lift. Gyms aren’t meant to be easy, but you go to them because all the equipment, trained professionals, and support are in one spot. It’s easier to do the hard work. College, while hard, is the same. Yes, college is difficult and challenging. So much so that you go there because it’s easy to be challenged there.

While we usually think about college as a transition from youth to adulthood and focus on things like jobs and training, there are also deep emotional aspects of college. There are all kinds of things we want to be easier that college can help with. We want to make it easier to make our own paths while still making our parents and communities proud. For many, the thrill of getting accepted to a prestigious, famous college comes down to making it easier to feel accomplished and important right now, before college even begins. In our vague-but-real American class system, a college degree doesn’t guarantee you’ll be in the upper classes, but it sure makes it easier. That’s on a lot of high school students’ minds, even if they don’t articulate it that way.

I don’t think every student needs to go through this. The majority of students I talk to have a pretty good idea of what they want, and they can go straight to committing to that by making a College Mission Statement: “I want to _____ at a _____ school with _____.” But if you’re struggling to understand what you want, if the answers to lots of questions about your near future are “I don’t know” or “I’m not really sure,” then begin by thinking about what you want to make easier. Think about it academically, professionally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually. You can do almost anything. What would you like for someone else to make easier? Which challenges would you like the most support in tacking? Understanding that can help you narrow down your college search much more efficiently and effectively than looking though more lists of “good” colleges.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   How do I write a college mission statement?

   About the transactional approach to admissions

   What do colleges want?

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Senior application checklist

Hey seniors, this is for you!

There’s a lot going on this fall. You’re still in high school, with all the classes and out-of-class activities that entails. You’re also in a crucial phase of your college admission season, the phase where you have to do a lot of things and send out applications. In case you’re feeling lost or unsure, here’s a checklist of things for the fall.

Do you have your recommendation letters taken care of? It’s getting late for this. If you haven’t got these taken care of yet, do this first! You’re probably going to need one or two teacher recommendations, plus a counselor recommendation. You may also want, but probably won’t need, a letter from someone outside your school.

How do I ask a teacher for a recommendation letter?

Do you want or need a resume? Most colleges don’t require one for their applications, so you may not need one. The important thing right now is to know if you need one or not. Do any of the schools your applying to ask for—or allow for—you to submit a resume? Do any of the people writing recommendations for you want to see a resume? If so, get that done soon. If not, that’s something that can easily wait until the spring or even summer.

How do I put together a resume?

Is you college list final? You’re probably going to apply to anywhere from four to 10 colleges. Have you decided which ones you’ll apply to? I’d like you to choose four right away: two with acceptance rates over 50%, one with an acceptance rate under 20%, and one with an acceptance rate in between. Then, once those are ready, add on as many more as you’d like. But stick with those initial four. If your current list doesn’t include any with high acceptance rates, find a few that would be good for you, and find them quickly. Schools you’re likely to be accepted to should always be a priority over schools you’re not confident you’ll be accepted at. For all the schools on your list, look up some key financial facts: average net price, average percent need met, and average debt on graduation. You never know for sure what a school will cost until you apply, but do a gut check using these key stats.

Creating a balanced college list, for everyone.

Will you apply early anywhere? Most Early Decision and Early Action deadlines are coming up in about a week. There’s still time to submit, but you need to decide soon. Really soon.

The Glossary: Early Decision

The Glossary: Early Action

Are you building relationships with the schools on your list? Have you joined their mailing list to get information sent to you? Are you spending time looking at their websites—not just to look up a deadline or fact, but just to browse and get a feel for them? If possible, have you introduced yourself to your admissions representative for the school? Have you put their application deadline in your calendar? Are they already on your Common Application list (and Naviance list if your school uses it)? Do you know if and how they conduct interviews? Have you attended any in-person and/or online tours? These are places where you’re considering a relationship of at least a few years. Make sure you’re doing the things necessary to understand, as best as possible, who the other side of that relationship is.

How is your writing coming along? While some of the shorter, school-specific prompts won’t get addressed until you’re sure you’ll apply, you will probably end up writing a Common Application essay. Get this done as soon as possible. If you’re not done with the “finishing touches” until a day before you’re going to send it out, that’s fine. But you should have a good, almost-ready-to-send draft at least a week before that. The essay is definitely not something to procrastinate with. Get it finished!

How do I write a great essay?

Have you filed you FAFSA? This is your first step to getting financial aid. You’ll need cooperation from your parents or guardians, and you’ll probably have questions. So begin soon. Your goal is to have this submitted by the time you apply. Make the deadlines the same.

How to fill out the FAFSA form.

Do you know your target budget? There is a dollar amount above which a school is absolutely unaffordable for your family and below which a college is affordable. You need to know what that amount is.

Three things parents should stop saying to their children about financial aid.

When should you send the application? As soon as you’re sure your application is ready, send it on in. Every year, more of the students I work with have everything sent out by November 15—even applications with January 5 deadlines. Once they have everything done for early November deadlines, they go ahead and send out the rest. If you can do that, great! But of you’re a person who doesn’t really work like that and tends to finish things right before the deadline, then plan on sending it three to five days before the deadline. Do not wait until the last minute. Do not put it off until the last minute. Do not hope everything goes right in the last minute. There are lots of things that can go wrong in the last minute, and you don’t want to give those things too much power over your future choices. Plan on sending it in three to five days early. If something goes wrong, you have days to get it fixed instead of minutes.

Wherever you are in this checklist, from just beginning to already finished, just remember to be deliberate, thoughtful, and thorough. Remember that this is a process to open up future possibilities, not to judge your past actions. This is a great time to be optimistic and proud. You’re going to be fine.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   What are your chances of getting into your top college?

   Seniors, it’s fall. What should you be doing?

   What’s the right number of colleges to apply to?

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Following your North Star

There’s a quotation from Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh that I return to often:

If you are lost in a forest at night, you can follow the North Star to find your way out. You follow the North Star, but your goal is to get back home; it’s not to arrive at the North Star.

It’s an analogy that Hanh use several times in his writing and talks. In all cases, it’s about not confusing the method with the bigger-picture goal. In his book Being Peace, he uses it when talking about how difficult it can actually be to follow even a basic guideline, like not killing animals:

If you are lucky enough to have a vocation that helps you realize your ideal of compassion, you still have to understand more deeply. If I am a teacher, I am very glad to have this job helping children. I am glad that I am not a butcher who kills cows and pigs. Yet the son and daughter of the butcher come to my class, and I teach them. They profit from my right livelihood….You may try to follow a vegetarian diet, to lessen the killing of animals, but you cannot completely avoid the killing. When you drink a glass of water, you kill many tiny living beings…..I am aware that my vegetarian dish is not completely vegetarian, and I think that if my teacher, The Buddha, were here, he could not avoid that either. The problem is whether we are determined to go in the direction of compassion or not. If we are, then can we reduce the suffering to a minimum? If I lose my direction, I have to look for the North Star, and I go to the North. That does not mean I expect to arrive at the North Star. I just want to go in that direction.

Rules, guidelines, and methods are great for helping us achieve our goals, but they’re not the same as the goal. We don’t follow the North Star to get to the North Star.

This understanding can be really useful when you’re working through college applications and start getting stressed about the expectations. My SAT score is in their bottom 25%—does that mean I’m not qualified? The college’s admission website says they recommend four years of social studies, but my I’ve only got three years—should I even bother to apply? I know that it’s good to visit campus, but I didn’t have time to visit campus—that’s going to count against me, isn’t it? Don’t get too bogged down in the guidelines and expectations. There are definitely some non-negotiable rules. But lots of the guidance and advice is just…guidance and advice, not the goal. Those details just let you know that colleges are looking for smart, hard working students who have already expereinced some academic success and are active in their college search. If that describes you, then put together the best application you can that demonstrates it. Don’t worry if you don’t check off every tiny box. You’re goal isn’t to check off boxes, it’s to apply to a college that’s a good fit.

It’s good to remember this in the larger picture as well. Your goal isn’t to be accepted to a particular college or a particular type of college. Your goal is to become a productive, successful, happy adult. Going to a “good college,” however you define that, is a path to that goal, it’s not the goal itself. If you’re not accepted to your top-choice school, or are denied from many schools and enroll at a “safety,” it doesn’t mean that you won’t achieve your goal of becoming a productive, successful, happy adult. If you are accepted to your “dream school,” it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will achieve your goal. If you cheat, plagiarize, and lie on your resume to get into a school that will make you feel good about yourself, you’re not likely to feel good about yourself. The hit you take to your integrity and self-worth will negate the temporary, superficially good results.

The whole process can all be especially difficult if you don’t know where Home is. If you only have the method but don’t know the goal, that can be demoralizing. I’ve known a number of high school students who knew to follow the North Star, but had no idea where they were going. They knew to get good grades, to have things they could put on an Activities List, to get accepted to selective university. But they didn’t have any goals or ambitions beyond that. They were following the North Star just to follow it, with no real idea why they wanted out of the woods or where home was. If they were being honest with themselves, some would probably see that they spent so much time and energy following the North Star to avoid having to think too much about Home. None of us have a goal or path all the time; all of us go through the motions of what we think we’re supposed to do until we figure out a higher calling or passion. It’s really common, and not necessarily a problem at all. If you think you’re doing this—that you’re following a method to reach your goals even though you’re not sure what you’re goals are—the first step is be honest with yourself and acknowledge that’s the case. The next thing is to be kind to yourself and curious about yourself. You’ll find your way. Get help if you need it. Just don’t expect that you’re going to arrive at the North Star.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   The secret to success? Here are two of them.

   Expect surprises

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Creating a balanced college list, for everyone

When we talk about applying to colleges, we typically use three categories: Target, Reach, and Safety. A Target school is a school that you are pretty sure you can be accepted to. A Reach school is a college you’re not likely to be accepted to. And a Safety is one where you are quite sure you’ll be accepted—it’s a safe bet. The standard thinking is that it’s fine to apply to Reach schools, but you should focus on Target schools. And you should make sure you apply to a Safety or two, just in case.

According to this three-category framework, how do you know if a particular college is a Reach, Target, or Safety? One common way to determine is to use standardized test scores. If your SAT (or ACT) scores fall in the published mid-range of a college, then it’s a Target. If you’re in their top 25%, then it’s a Safety. Bottom 25% means it’s a Reach. Another way is to use the same method, but with your GPA. And one of the most popular ways is to use the Scattergram function in Naviance, which shows you how many people from your school got accepted to a college charting their test scores and GPA. There are also more anecdotal ways of determining, like talking to friends and family members who were accepted (or not) to the college, or extrapolating from a comment made by an admissions representative. There’s also the infamous “chance me” threads on forums like College Confidential. Knowing if a college is a Safety, Reach, or Target isn’t an exact science; you don’t really know until you apply and are accepted or denied. But it’s an exercise many students go through to put together a balanced college list.

One thing I’ve learned over the years working with students on admission is that, surprisingly, a less individualized approach is probably the better one. These guesses about whether a school is a Target, Reach, or Safety—they’re just guesses. They’re imprecise guesses that take up a lot of time and energy. I don’t think the time and energy are worth it.

What I do with my students isn’t radically different, at least on the surface. I still divide colleges into three categories, and the categories have to do with likelihood of acceptance. But I’ve let go of trying to draw lines for the three categories individually for every student. I use the same three “buckets” for everyone I work with. Trying to re-draw the lines for everyone is a waste of my time and a waste of the students’ time. I never look at scattergrams, and I never ask my students to look at them.

Here are the buckets I use.

Schools where you are highly confident you will be accepted. This is the category formerly known as Safety. For almost everyone I work with, I use a 50% admission rate or higher as the standard. I want everyone to apply to at least two colleges in this category. They are often, but not always, in-state public universities. These should be the first schools you choose. They are your top priority. Don’t make these a last-minute thought. Some of the unhappiest students I’ve known were the ones who didn’t put thought into their highly-confident schools and then were denied by everyone else. That’s a hard place to be, so take some time to find high-acceptance schools that are a good academic and cultural fit for you. Don’t daydream about other colleges until you’ve picked at least two from this bucket.

Here’s some good news: this bucket includes around 80% of colleges. Despite anything you’ve heard about how impossible it is to get into college, the vast majority of colleges accept more than half their applicants. It’s not a sacrifice to find schools that fit this category. You just have to decide to find these schools first, and then dedicate time and energy into finding them.

Schools where absolutely nobody should feel confident they’ll be accepted. Please hear this, and know I’m saying with the greatest amount of love and respect: if a college has an acceptance rate under 20%, you should assume you’re not going to be accepted. No matter how good a student you are, no matter how many impressive things you’ve done, no matter how strong a writer you are. These schools get so many applicants that they have to deny lots of strong, impressive students. Obviously some people do get accepted to these schools, and you very well could be one of them. But because the odds are so low, choose these schools last. Almost all of the ambitious and impressive students I’ve worked with think about these schools first. They’ve really internalized the idea of “Dream School,” and want to find the most perfect place for them. I understand that, but almost none of the most ambitious and impressive students I’ve worked with end up enrolling at one of these schools. (Even students who get accepted to one or more of these schools usually end up not enrolling at them.) Apply to as many of these schools as you want. Seriously, go for it! But don’t make them your highest priority.

Everything in between, with acceptance rates between 20% and 50%. After you’ve got your highly-confident schools picked out, this should be the next batch. And around half of your applications are going to be to these schools. It’s really the sweet spot. What I say to my clients about these schools is “I’d be pretty surprised if you got into all these colleges. But I’d also be pretty surprised if you got into none of them. What’s going to be fun is seeing which ones accept you, and I can’t predict that at all.” And I mean it: some of the happiest conversations I have with students in the spring is about their acceptances to these schools—and, usually, their choice of one of these schools to enroll. Because of all this, these schools should get most your time and attention. This is where most of the work is going to go, and where most of the payoff for that work is going to come from.

That’s it. Those are the three categories, the same for most of my students. Instead of Safety/Target/Reach, we have Probably/Maybe/Probably Not. And I tell everyone to use the overall acceptance rate—and ONLY the overall acceptance rate—to know which schools are in each category. We don't waste time trying to use other measurements, of either the school or the student, to try to figure out how to categorize colleges.

Are there exceptions? Are there students who should adjust the dividing lines for these buckets? Sure, absolutely. When I talk about “my students,” it’s not necessarily a representative group. As a teacher, I mostly dealt with students who were in multiple AP classes and had been identified as Gifted & Talented. As a private consultant, I work with families invested enough in this process that they’re willing to pay me to help them with it. So the lines I draw for the three “buckets'“ may not be the same for everyone.

If you haven’t taken many of the upper-level courses offered at your school, or if you’ve struggled with grades, or if external circumstances mean you missed a large portion of school or had a very rough patch of high school, you may want to bump the line for “schools where you are highly confident you will be accepted” up to 70% acceptance rates, or even 80% or 90%. That’s fine.

On the other end of things, I know plenty of counselors and consultants who use a 25% acceptance rate as their threshold for “schools where absolutely nobody should feel confident they’ll be accepted” instead of the 20% I use. That makes sense.

And occasionally I have students who skip the middle section altogether. After choosing one or two schools where they’re confident they’ll be accepted (usually because they have guaranteed acceptance somewhere), they spend all their time on a few more under-20% schools that really would be “dream schools” for them. They see no need to apply to a lot of colleges, and they focus on a small number of schools on each extreme. I love this approach, because it’s relatively low-stress, but it’s not a good approach for everyone.

Sometimes I have students with no interest in the super-selective schools and don’t apply to any of those. Again, this is fine.

But here’s the important part: whatever categories you realistically pick for yourself, you can do it once, quickly, and move on. It should be a general, 20 minute conversation. Decide a reasonable line for “highly confident,” with acceptance rates of at least 50%. Decide a reasonable line for “can’t be confident at all,” below somewhere in the 20% to 25% acceptance rate area. After that, use only the general acceptance rates for deciding which bucket a college belongs in, and make sure you’re keeping a reasonable, balanced list. Don’t spend 20 minutes or more on each individual school trying to guess how confident you are. That’s time that could go into writing a stronger essay, or being more active at school, or getting more time with your family, or getting more sleep. All of those other things are more important than scattergrams, I promise.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   What are your chances of getting into your top college?

   Should you apply to all the Ivy League Schools?

   What’s the right number of colleges to apply to?

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Help with money

When I talk to students about money, it’s usually in the context of financial aid and paying for college. However, there’s a lot more to money and finances than that one expenditure, no matter how large. Most students—and most adults—could use some help with financial literacy. “Financial literacy” is the basic knowledge of how to manage your money to be better able to live your life the way you’d like to. It’s one component of what we now call “adulting.”

To build up my own library of financial literacy resources I can share with students, I asked a bunch of friends—including two Certified Financial Advisors—what sorts of tools they would recommend to high school students. I got a lot of good answers, and I’d like to pass on a few them. Here are some good places to begin learning more about financial literacy: a book, a game, a podcast, and an app.

The book. Loaded: Money, Psychology, and How to Get Ahead without Leaving Your Values Behind, by Sarah Newcombe. While Newcombe’s 2016 book includes lots of practical things like assessments, exercises, worksheets and strategies, what makes it great is the focus on emotion and values. Loaded understands that money and finances come with very deeply rooted stories, experiences, feelings, and values. Money is loaded with our very sense of ourselves, our culture, and our families. Loaded begins with the psychology and ethics, and only then moves into the practical how-to exercises. Newcombe treats the readers as complex people, not just entities with bank accounts.

The game. Build Your Stax. This game takes about 20 minutes to play. You’re given a starting amount of money, and you get “paid” more on a regular basis. Your task is to invest that money as you get it, with the goal of making as much money as you can by the end. It introduces and explains, one at time, seven different investment types: savings account, certificate of deposit, index fund, individual stock, government bonds, crop commodiites, and gold. You choose how much to put in each type of investment, and then you can see how well you fare. You can play alone or with a group to make it a competition. You’re not going to learn how to balance your checkbook, manage credit cards, or budget from this game. But through repeated cycles of the game, you can learn a lot about how to balance risk and the pros and cons of different types of investment. Plus, it’s fun!

My stax, being built

The podcast. Planet Money Summer School. Planet Money has long been one of my favorite podcasts—just ask my kids, who have to hear “Planet Money did a podcast on that” all the frickin’ time. There are years’ worth of episodes to sift through to find what you may want. Luckily, the past two summers they’ve done a series called Summer School to go over the basics. These episodes are made with students in mind. Last summer’s series was on microeconomics (the kind of economics that’s about individuals, not national economies), and this summer’s series was on investing. Everything I know about economics—which is less than an actual economist, but more than most non-economists—I learned from listening to Marketplace and Planet Money. Planet Money’s Summer School can help anyone reach that level of understanding easily and quickly.

The app. YNAB. YNAB, for You Need A Budget, is a budgeting app that helps people set up and follow a budget. It’s made for your phone and is high-tech, but its basic methodology is old and proven: the envelope system. The app isn’t free, but there is a free trial period. And a month may be long enough to learn their four rules and see how they work in reality. I’ve found that budgets, like meditation routines or organizing systems, are highly personal and difficult to begin. But the more you try, and the more systems you try, the more likely you are to find something that works for you.

Good luck with your money, no matter if it’s a little or a lot!

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

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2. Read these related posts:

   Some fun financial exercises

   A good example of a family doing it right

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Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

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Productivity and time management for high school students

Maybe this sounds boring, but I enjoy thinking about organization and time management. I haven’t always been good at managing my own time productively—many days I’m still not—but it’s been a part of me for a long time.

I’ve been writing daily to-do lists for at least 30 years. I’ve read and absorbed Getting Things Done, Deep Work, and Everything in its Place. I read every post of David Cain’s Raptitude as soon as it’s published, and I was an early reader of his book How to Do Things. I’ve kind-of done Mission Control. I know the Pomodoro Technique.

I often tell students that the two things they need, for college or anywhere, are a time management system and a meditation routine. Still, I rarely give specific time management advice or recommend specific books or programs. The big problem for those types of books and programs for high school students is that…they’re definitely not written for high school students. They tend to assume family and work roles that are quite different from what most high school students actually have. The thing about time management for students is how little of your time you have control over. It’s about how to manage the time left over from when other people are, for good or ill, managing it for you. While I don’t have a complete guidebook to give you, I would like to point to three main ideas that come up over and over and over again in the guides made for adults.

Write things down! This rule is pretty much universal—everyone agrees: you have to write things down, immediately, in a consistent place. Whenever you get a new school assignment, whenever you make plans to meet anyone, or any other time you think “I need to remember to…” you write it down. Our brains are really good at lots of things, but they are not good at remembering all those details we tell ourselves we will remember. So we need to get into the habit of writing those things down, immediately, in a consistent place. You should have one (or maybe two, but never more than two) places where you write these things down. For most American teens, that’s going to be on your phone. Notes scribbled on little pieces of paper, on the top of homework assignments, or on post-its don’t work. Write things down, immediately, in a consistent place.

Then what? What do you do with everything that’s written down? Every day you go through those notes and do what you need to to do take care of them. Add items to your to-do list. Put things on your calendar. Set up a reminder, send a message. Whatever it is you need to do to get it off the note and into your life, you do that. Daily. Once this becomes routine, you stop forgetting (almost) everything. As soon as you have something to remember, you write it down. Daily you take those written notes and process them. Writing things down, consistently, is the most high-impact thing you can do to increase productivity and organization.

Wake up with the plan already made. You should make each day’s to-do list the night before. You should get the things you need for tomorrow the night before. Instead of waking up wondering what you should be doing and how you’re going to do it, you should wake up with the plan already made. Every night, some time between dinner and going to sleep, do three things.

One, look at your notes from the day. All those times you wrote down something that you need to remember can now be taken care of. Put things on your calendar; put things on your to-do list for tomorrow; set an alarm or reminder. Get all those things off your notes and into your organization so you’re not trying to remember them any longer.

Two, look at your calendar for the next day. Know what classes you have the next day (this is especially important for students with block schedules, where the classes aren’t the same every day), what you’re doing after school, if you have any special appointments or meetings. Know where all you need to be tomorrow.

Three, make your to-do list for the next day. It will probably incorporate things from today’s to-do list that didn’t get done. It will definitely incorporate what’s on your calendar and the things that you do on a regular basis. Wake up the next day with your plan already made. Your plan may change as the day goes on—it probably will. But that’s ok. You can easily go with the flow, because you have a system for writing down anything that comes up and for transferring undone items from today’s to-do list to tomorrow’s.

Keep your work spaces tidy. I’m not Marie Kondo, and I’m not going to tell you to tidy everything you own to reduce it to only the things that “spark joy.” I love high school, but there are a lot of important but joy-less parts of it. I’m not Admiral McRaven, telling you to make your bed first thing every morning. It’s not bad advice, but it’s not my advice. If you want to be organized, productive, and make it easier for you to be successful—however you define success for yourself—then focus first on keeping your work spaces tidy. High school students have several work spaces. Keep your backpack tidy—no loose papers or old snack wrappers. Put everything where it belongs so that you can find what you need when you need it. Keep your home workspace tidy. If you have your own desk, keep it clean so that you can use it easily without losing things. If you do homework and studying at a shared table or desk, clear yourself a space that’s tidy before you begin work. If you do homework and study on your bed, find another place immediately. Your bed is not a good place to do school work.

When you go into other people’s work spaces, you expect them to be tidy. You want your food from a clean kitchen. You want your school hallways and classroom floors to be clean. When you walk into a store you want to be able to find what you’re looking for rather than have merchandise strewn about in random order. If you haven’t already, begin the habit of making your own workspace as tidy, organized, and useful as you want other people’s spaces.

I’ll tell you what I do. I don’t expect it will be perfect for you, and I don’t even think it’s certainly best for me. But sometimes it helps to have examples, so here’s mine.

Every evening I make the next day’s to-do list. I use a Google Doc. Actually, I use six. Since there are so many recurring appointments and tasks that happen on the same day every week, I have a separate to-do list for each weekday and one for the weekend. The moment I pull up my to-do list, it’s already almost completely done. First I just look over it, deleting anything that can obviously go off the list because it’s already completed and adding anything I already remember needs to be added. I’ve got three sections. At the top I have “On the Calendar.” That’s where I write down appointments from the calendar, where I need to be at a certain place at a certain time. Then I have two columns for “Work” and “Home.” Under those headings, I have my list of things I need to do. I have them, roughly, in order of importance so I can start at the top. The first thing on my work to-do list, every day, is “tidy office.” Because I do it daily, it rarely takes more than 60 seconds, but I always do it first so I know I don’t have stray papers or gross half-empty coffee cups on my desk.

With that doc still open, I look at my calendar to make sure I’m not forgetting anything I have scheduled. If there’s something on my calendar not already in the “on the calendar” section of my to-do list, I add it. Then I won’t need to look at my calendar again for a day.

With the doc still open and my calendar still open, I look at my notes in my phone for things to add. Maybe I need to add something to the next day’s to-do-list. Maybe I need to add something to my to-do list several days from now. Maybe I need to add something to my calendar. When I’m done I delete all the notes, close the calendar and print the doc. I feel confident that I have captured everything that needs to be done.

And that’s it. That’s my example. Do I get everything done I should? Rarely. Do I keep myself away from distractions and spontaneous decisions? Rarely. But do I miss appointments or deadlines because I forgot all about them? Very rarely.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   The secret to success? Here are two of them!

   Slow down to speed up

   Study in the quiet places

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

9th graders, what should you be doing this fall?

If you’ve just started high school or are just about to start, congratulations! I don’t get into generalizations about these being the best, hardest, easiest, most important, or more wasted years of your life. I just know that a lot of intellectual, social, and emotional learning takes place in high school. You are ready, wether you feel ready or not.

There’s not a lot to say about preparing for college while you’re in 9th grade. That’s still a long way off, and you’ve got a lot to do before you get to that. But if you already know that you’re planning on college or think you might be going to college, here are some things to do these first few months to start you down the path.

Work at being good at high school. This has an academic side—take the most rigorous classes you can, get the best grades you can, be involved in your education. But just as important at this point are the social and emotional sides. You’re easing your way into a new and exciting (and challenging) place. You’re going to have missteps, and you’re going to change your mind about things. That’s normal, and that’s fine. If you’re feeling pressure to make yourself into a perfect resume—from your family, your school, your friends, or yourself—just repeat this mantra to yourself and anyone else: the best way to prepare for college is to be a good high school student. If you find yourself feeling disconnected from high school because you’re already too immersed in test prep or overexerting yourself in too many activities to boost your college prospects, then it’s time to back off and reevaluate. Also remember this important rule: if the only reason you’re doing something is because you think it will look good to colleges, don’t do it. That’s not a good reason to do anything.

If by Halloween there’s a class that still isn’t working out—because it’s too easy, or too challenging, or not the right fit—bring this up now and see if there are schedule changes that can be made for the spring semester. Keep doing your best in the class, but understand that adjusting plans is something that all successful people do.

Explore your interests. Remember that the whole point of education is to help you be a productive, happy, and interesting person. You can’t and shouldn’t wait until some future date to start working on those things. Explore activities and interests that you haven’t before. Try out a new club, sit somewhere different for lunch, find an interesting question to ask a teacher you haven’t connected with yet. The great thing about high school is that you get to do a lot of growing and changing and developing—you’re not stuck being the same person you were at the end of last year or the beginning of this year. But the hard part is that you are in charge of that growth and development; it can’t happen passively. So try new things, read new things, listen to new things, talk about new things, think new things.

Begin good habits. There are two things you need for success in college and beyond: a meditation routine and a time management system. Now is the time to begin. The sooner and better you do these two things, the easier everything else will be.

Start talking to your family about paying for college. Ask them what the plan is, what your priorities should be, and how you can contribute. If they give you any of the three most popular answers (“don’t worry about,” “we can’t afford anything,” or “we don’t have enough to afford it but make too much for financial aid,” then please ask them to reconsider. You need something more specific. You’ve got time to have these conversations, but now is the best time to begin them.

I wish you the best in this exciting and difficult time!

10th graders, what should you be doing this fall?

Work at being good at high school. Take time to reflect and talk to your family or other adults you trust about the high and low points of last year. Work on making a plan to be even better at high school than you were last year. Keep taking the most rigorous courses you can, and keep doing as well at them as you can.

Think about college. You don’t need to know which college you want to go to, and you don’t need to have a “long list” prepared yet. But it is time to start thinking about it—I assume you have, since you’re here. Remember that you’re at the exploring stage right now, not the deciding stage. Ask older friends where they are thinking about going. Ask several adults you know and trust: what kind of college do you think would be good for me? What should I be looking for? Ask yourself what you think you might want in a college and what you hope to get out of it. Think about geography and areas that you might like to spend four to six years. Think about what sorts of things bring you pleasure and how you hope to pursue those when you’re older. Resist the pressure to decide what you’ll major in. Resist the temptation to look at college rankings. Resist the pressure to think you’ve got to have this figured out.

Now is the time to make “college” less abstract and more specific. Get to know a handful of colleges. Pick a handful of different types of schools—large public university, small liberal arts college, medium-sized university—and spend some time researching them. Look at their admission web pages. Look at their profiles on BigFuture and Niche. Follow them on social media. It doesn’t really matter which colleges you choose at this point, or if they’re a good fit for you. Right now you’re just getting a feeling for colleges. When you find yourself wondering “what do colleges want?” you have a place to go look it up. Change the schools on your “following” list as much as you want, but start following and getting familiar with a few places.

When you get recruiting information from colleges, hold on to it. Make a special email folder to archive all the "college stuff.” Have a box to keep all the materials you get in the mail. You don’t have to examine it all closely and make decisions about schools—but keep those resources near you. When it comes time to find a school that’s a good fit, starting with the ones who reach out to you early is a great strategy.

Find a mentor. You need an adult you can trust to give you advice. Academic advice; personal advice; advice about how and where to find further resources. An adult, other than a family member, who you see and speak to even when it’s not required. So a teacher that you can talk to outside of class, or a coach that you can talk to outside of practice, or a minister or spiritual leader you can talk to outside of regular worship. There are a lot of factors that go into productive, independent, happy adulthood. There’s no single magic formula. But having a mentor is one of the biggest factors, and it’s often overlooked. Finding a mentor has a lot of the same risks as making a new friend. You have to be willing to accept rejection and awkwardness. But it’s really hard to go through life without friends, and it’s really hard to go through life without mentors. If you haven’t got at least someone who fits the description, then there’s no better way to spend your time than searching for someone who will.

Expand your interests. Assuming that you’re not completely bombing any of your classes or dealing with trauma, the place you should be pushing yourself isn’t with putting together college applications or getting that math grade two points higher. The place you should be pushing yourself is in your personal interests. Begin looking for a leadership position in your club or team. Read more books about your interests beyond what’s required. Look for mentors who can give you guidance. Explore careers that use the same skills. For example, if you’re passionate about soccer and a member of the soccer team, that’s fantastic. But don’t just show up to practice. Tell your coach you aim to be a team captain as soon as you can. Follow your favorite team, and also learn about the history of that team. Look for summer camps or programs where you can be an instructor. Be a soccer player, but also be a soccer leader.

Maybe sports aren’t your thing, but by now you’ve probably got some ideas about what your thing is. Push yourself to expand your skills and your presence in that thing—even if not’s academic or something school sponsored. If what you do is spend hours a day playing video games—no problem. But push yourself to do more. Design a video game yourself; take a break to learn an esoteric or alternative game; research the history of game design; join a competitive league. If that doesn’t sound interesting, if what you really want to do is keep spending hours passively doing what you’ve been doing for years, then it’s time to shut down the games. The problem isn’t video games, it’s that you’re using them to avoid exploring something you’re more interested in and better suited for.

It’s perfectly ok to be interested in whatever you’re interested in—assuming it’s not violent or self-destructive. But now is the time to expand your presence in that interest.

And keep repeating to yourself and whoever will listen: the best way to prepare for college is to be a good high school student. 

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Finding the right college can be like finding the right bottle of wine

   Three myths about college admissions

   What to do with all that mail you’re getting

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

11th graders, what should you be doing this fall?

Work at being good at high school. You probably already know this—you’re living it—but 11th grade is generally acknowledged to be the toughest year of high school. There’s a major jump in the rigor of your classes. You’re moving into leadership positions in your extra-curricular activities. You have some major high-stakes tests. (Or not. We’ll see how things go with test-optional policies at colleges.) People are beginning to ask you more and more about your plans after high school. You’re more likely to be working an after-school job, you’re more likely to be driving, you’re more likely to be dealing with the ups and downs of dating and relationships. You likely have growing responsibilities at home. You’re more likely to be dealing with emotional or social issues. The pressure can be overwhelming. But as much as I can empathize, there’s not a lot to say except…keep being the best high school student you can. If you need to reevaluate your commitments and reduce them, that’s ok. But be mindful about it, and talk about it with adults you trust. When you’re tempted to just say “screw it” and give up, that’s not ok—it’s not ok for your mental health, your future, or your relationships with your family and school. Ask for help when you need it.

When my children were in the midst of their Terrible Twos, my wife and I had a line we kept repeating to ourselves: "she’s only two once, and it only lasts a year." It gave us a reminder to keep things in perspective and not get completely despondent. When you’re having your really difficult days, it may be helpful to you, too. Say it: "I’m only a high school junior once, and it only lasts a year." It’s really difficult, and you’re going to be fine.

And here’s something you may not know. Among teachers, a whole lot of them think that juniors are best to teach. 11th graders have developed a lot of maturity—both intellectual and emotional—that makes them seem a lot more like approachable young adults. And juniors don’t yet have the “Senioritis” that so many seniors get infected with by the beginning of September. So remember that a lot of your teachers are cheering for you, even if they’re also assigning you too much homework. Seek out the good ones who are on your side and cultivate those relationships, both for your personal development and next year’s recommendation letters.

Research college. Now is the time to start researching colleges. You’ve got enough of an idea of what’s really important to you and what you have to offer. Spend some time wandering around college information and taking some notes.

Pick one activity where you often feel like it’s wasted time: maybe it’s web surfing, maybe it’s watching a guilty pleasure television show, maybe it’s chatting with friends in the school library when you should be working. Whatever it is, that’s now your college research time. Dedicate one day a week using that time for researching colleges instead of the time-wasting activity.

Where do you start? Anywhere, really. Go ahead and look of some of those “top colleges” lists. They’re not a good way to pick a school, but they’re a fine way to begin looking. Or do a basic Google search. Challenge yourself to look up a school that you know nothing about but see on posters near the counseling office. Ask your family and friends. Start looking more closely at the materials that have been sent to you over the past year. Go down the rabbit hole of web surfing, just make sure the web sites are college ones. If you're paying attention you’ll start to notice patterns in what appeals to you and why. Don’t feel like you need to have a list of schools you’re going to apply to. But do realize that you’ll need that list soon—a year from now at the latest—and do what it takes to get as much information as you can before you make that list.

Pursue your interests. 11th grade is not a good time to dabble. If you’re spread too thin over a number of interests—in and/or out of school—and not really doing much with any of them, then you’ve got to weed out some activities. You’ve got too much going on. Choose one or two to actively pursue and push yourself. Don’t fret, there’s still a whole lifetime ahead of you to try new things and explore hobbies. But seriously, this isn’t the year. If you’re not actively pursuing it—drop it. Your sleep schedule and your sanity will thank you. If people are pressuring you to keep spreading yourself thin in order to look "well-rounded" on your college applications, remind yourself and those people that anyone can see through a fake. Don’t waste your time doing that.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Three myths about college admissions

   What to do with all that mail you’re getting

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Seniors, it's fall. What should you be doing?

It’s hard to talk about back-to-school season, because there’s so much variety in when students actually go back. For some, school starts next week. Others won’t begin for another six weeks. But for seniors applying to college, “Fall” always begins August 1, when the applications open, and ends the first week of January, when almost all applications close. Whether you’ve been working on the college application process for two years or are just beginning to think about it, there’s a lot to do in the next few months. Below I outline the major categories for your checklist.

Continue being a good high school student. This is a tough line to walk senior year. On one hand, you really ought to be shifting your focus to next year. You have a lot of big decisions to make, and you need to allocate time and resources to working on strong applications and making informed decisions. Your daily high school homework isn’t quite as compelling as it was a year ago. On the other hand, you also need to be preparing yourself to be a good college student, and the best way to prepare for college is to be a good high school student. As tempting as it is, you can’t just coast through senior year; that never works as well as it seems like it should. So it’s perfectly normal and appropriate for you to be less diligent your senior year than your junior year. The important thing is to ask yourself why. If you’re spending less time and attention on high school because you’re spending more time on college and leadership opportunities, that’s fine. If you’re spending less time and attention on high school because you can see the finish line and you just want to have an easy year, you’re selling yourself short, missing opportunities to prepare for the near future, and annoying pretty much every adult around you. Doing well in your classes is actually easier than dealing with those annoyed adults.

Make sure you’re caught up on what you should have done this summer. Have you already got a solid first draft of a Common Application essay? If not, get on that soon. Have you written and updated your college mission statement? If not, do it immediately. Have you got a preliminary list of 20-25 colleges to take a closer look at? For each of them, have you signed up to be on their mailing list? Looked at their web sites for the admissions department, financial aid office, and departments for your potential major? Found out if and how they conduct interviews? Tried out their net price calculator? If so, that’s wonderful. If not, you still have time—but move quickly!

Take any tests you still need to take. Most students don’t need to take the SAT or ACT. About two thirds of colleges aren’t requiring them. But you may really want to apply to one or more of the other third, so find out if you need to take a test. There are still three SAT tests this fall you can register for. Same for the ACT. One thing I noticed this spring talking with rising seniors is that no-one wanted me to help them strategize about standardized tests. There were “no should I take it,” “how many times should I take it,” “should I take both the SAT and ACT,” or “what is a good score?” conversations. Most had taken a test and seemed content not to take it again. A few have already decided to re-take the SAT one more time, but there was no stress about it. Once it becomes time to apply, I expect a few “should I submit my scores"?” conversations, but the overall anxiety about test-optional seems way lower this year than in the past two. I hope that continues.

You’re going to need some letters of recommendation. You’ll need to decide—soon—who to ask, when to ask them, and how to ask them. Be as polite as possible. This is a personal favor, not part of their job. Don’t do what someone once did to a colleague of mine, cornering her in the bathroom to hand her paperwork. When my colleague asked if they could do this later, in a more appropriate place, the student left…and waited right outside the bathroom door to re-start the conversation. This is not a good plan to get someone to write nice things about you!

Narrow your college list, from 20-25 down to 4-10. Which ones do you keep on your list? Which ones do you let go of? There’s no single process. It helps to research as much as possible. It helps to meet with representatives at a college fair or at your school. An interview is helpful, and a campus visit is really helpful. Make sure you’re keeping the ones that best fit you mission statement.

And also make sure you cover several categories. Traditionally we talk about “safety” and “reach” schools, but let’s think about it a little differently. Everyone’s list should include at least one in-state, public university. If your state’s flagship state university is also very selective (Virginia, Texas, California, Michigan, and a few others), then make sure you include at least one in-state public university that is more achievable. For most people, most of the time, an in-state public school is going to be the most affordable, most attainable, and have the lowest living expenses—especially if you live at home.

You should also apply to several other schools—whether public or private, in state or out—that you feel pretty confident you’ll be accepted to. Maybe not absolutely, perfectly assured, but pretty confident. Your confidence should also include being confident that you’ll be able to afford it, based on the full price or a net price calculator. If you apply to three or four of these, including at least one in-state public, then you should feel ok.

You may also want to apply to some schools that you’re less confident about your acceptance. Apply to as many of these as you want, within reason. The best-case scenario is that you’re accepted to several, and at least one of them offers you a financial aid package that makes it within your range. A seemingly-good scenario is that you get accepted to many of them, and they all offer you good financial aid. But now you’ve got a stressful spring on your hands figuring out which one to pick. Since you can only choose one, too many similar options isn’t always a great thing. A worse scenario is that you don’t get accepted to any of them. That stings, but if you’re accepted to at least one of your confident schools, then you’re going to be ok. The very worst thing is being accepted to many or all of them, but not getting the aid to make any of them affordable.

Remember that some schools (the most prestigious and famous ones) have such low acceptance rates that absolutely no one should feel confident that they’ll be accepted. Even if you have perfect ACT scores and are top of your class, chances are still that you won’t get accepted to Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, or the other super-selective colleges. Once a school’s overall acceptance rate drops below 20%, it’s not something anyone should feel at all confident about. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try—thousands of people do get accepted to those schools every year. But nobody can count on it.

If I have a client, no matter how smart and accomplished, with a college list where every school has an acceptance rate below 50%, we have a talk about the risks of their “very aggressive” list (I’ve definitely done this before). If I had a client with a college list that only has schools with acceptance rates below 20%, then I’d tell them to either add some more reasonable schools or consider my money-back guarantee off the table. (Fortunately, I haven’t had to do that yet).

Beginning October 1, you can apply for federal financial aid using FAFSA. Everyone should do this, as soon as possible after October 1. Even if you’re not expecting to be eligible for financial aid, you should still apply as soon as possible. (Why should you apply for financial aid if you’re not expecting to get any? For one, you may be wrong, and it’s worth it to try. Also, some colleges use your ability to pay as a factor in admission. It helps if you provide documentation up front that you have the ability to pay. Plus, some programs will not award you merit scholarships without having a FAFSA.) Some universities, or programs within universities, may also ask you to use the CSS Profile.

Send your applications. Understand that most schools have multiple deadlines. Early Decision. Early Action. Preferred Application. VIP application. Regular decision. Deadline to be considered for scholarships. Each school has its own vocabulary, and each school has its own deadlines. Understand each one for each school you're considering, and understand which ones are relevant to you. There’s no great reason to send a regular application much earlier than the due date. But there’s no good reason to wait until the last minute, either. Plan on hitting the “submit” button three to five days before deadline. Early Decision and Early Action deadlines are typically—though not always—in November. Regular decision applications are typically—though not always—due in early January.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Do you need a “brag sheet”?

   Should you submit your test scores to a test-optional college?

   My talk with seniors

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Three quick questions with DePaul University

For Three Quick Questions, I send the same three questions to admission representatives at colleges all over the country, and then I hope to hear back from them. The three questions are meant to probe some of the things that make a school unique but that aren’t easily captured as a stat to go in a book or web search.

Today’s response is from Mariesa Negosanti, Assistant Director of Undergraduate Admission at DePaul University in Chicago, Illinois.

What is a course, tradition, program or event that is unique to DePaul University?

We actually have a list of traditions on our website that you can peruse. One of my personal favorites, though, is the Chicago Quarter. It's a required course for first-year students and is a "Chicago 101" of sorts. It helps get students acclimated to the city and learning different aspects of its history.

Naturally every college wants to recruit the perfect student--high grades, high test scores, involved in their community, leadership...everything. But what kinds of imperfect students tend to flourish at DePaul?

I actually am not sure I subscribe to the notion that we're all looking for the "perfect" student. I'm not even sure what the "perfect" student is or if that even exists, or if we even want it to exist! I think the types of students who thrive at DePaul are independent and creative. Our students really are fully functioning adults living in the city of Chicago, and for some it's their first time living alone and living in a city, but their spirit longs for the challenges and growth that experience brings.

When people come to visit Chicago, what's a place off campus that you recommend they check out while they're there?

Lastly, this question is the toughest because there is simply SO much to do in Chicago. Truly within minutes of leaving your front door, you could be eating at some of the world’s best restaurants in Fulton Market, enjoying the charm of Chinatown or the creativity of Wicker Park, or soaking in the skyline from the lakeshore. Explore a theatre scene that offers everything from Broadway hits to improv groups. Wander through a collection of the world’s finest art and artifacts at The Field Museum or Art Institute of Chicago. And, of course, there are more coffee shops, gardens, monuments, fountains and all-around points of interest than we can fit on this screen.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. See which other colleges and universities answered the questions.

3. Is there a school you’d like to hear from? Let me know, and I’ll make sure they get the questions.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth. [The banner photo is not of DePaul. I use the same photo for all Meet the Class posts so you can spot them easily.]

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

On college admission and baseball

I’m a baseball fan. I go to around 20 regular season Houston Astros games a year. I also follow the Texas Rangers, my hometown team. Like a lot of people my age, I got into baseball watching the Cubs. They only played day games at the time, and WGN showed the games on basic cable. So a bored middle school kid in Dallas could watch a professional baseball game most any afternoon.

I was certainly aware of baseball as a younger kid, and even played one season at the YMCA. (I was really, really bad.) But as a kid, I had a very basic understanding of baseball. I thought the only goal of the batter was to hit a home run. To me, the other bases were just a kind of consolation for getting a hit that wasn’t a home run, and maybe you could still get to home plate if a player after you in the lineup hit a home run. I only understood the big hits that everybody cheered loudly about. It was a simplistic understanding.

But as I got older and started watching games regularly, I learned about all the ways teams win other than hitting home runs. I learned about base stealing, the hit-and-run, and how well-hit singles and doubles can make a huge difference. I learned to appreciate a player’s batting average. I learned to appreciate how important double plays are. I learned that even top home-run hitters get one homer every 10-20 times at bat. I learned to appreciate “small ball.”

I’ve come across plenty of people who think about college in ways similar to my childhood view of baseball. They’re focused on the home runs: getting accepted to famous and prestigious university. They think of colleges other than top-ranked “elite” schools as a consolation, as a type of loss. The standard way of categorizing colleges—reach, target, safety—reninforces this way of thinking, which is one reason I don’t like to use those terms. The idea is that you swing for a home run, which is acceptance to a well-known elite college, but that you might still make it to base with a target or safety school. And then, maybe, you’ll get lucky and still reach your life goals, though not as easily as you would having got into the “better” school.

Students (and parents), let’s expand our understanding. There are thousands of colleges and universities in the US, and at least 95% of them are not disappointments. There are so many ways to achieve your aspirations other than attending a top-100 college.

If you are ambitious and looking for the home run, that’s fine. But please understand that the home run isn’t everything, and it may not happen—it probably won’t happen—and you have to be prepared for what else is out there. You need to find the academic equivalent of hustle, taking risks, watching the signs, and being a team player.

A runner on first base can still score a run. A runner on first can still score the dramatic, game-winning run. A runner on first can still be the MVP. But not if they see being on first as a loss. If you’re not going to your first-choice college, remember this lesson. You can still get what you want. What did you want from that prestigious, “elite” college to begin with?

Prestige? Wherever you're going, they'll have a Dean's List, honor societies, and awards. Go for it.

Social connections? Unless you accidentally applied to a monastery instead of a university, there will be people who want to do fun things with other people. There will be clubs, there will be friendships, there will be parties. The people you bond with will go on to do interesting things after college, and many of them will still consider you a friend and an important part of their lives. You'll still consider many of them a friend and an important part of your life.

Career Opportunities? Your school will have some version of a Career Services office. Start going to that office your first year of college. Look for advice, internships, and opportunities.

Leadership roles? You've probably heard a quotation from one of Shakespeare's greatest plays, Twelfth Night: "some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." If you're upset that you didn't get into your top-choice school, you may be feeling like you definitely weren't born great. But the other two options are still very available. You've got this.

Personal fulfillment? That happens independent of where you go to school. And 99% of the work is actively done by you, not something you receive from teachers or opportunities. This short-term disappointment may be exactly what your personal fulfillment needs.

I don’t want to discourage anyone from aspiring to a prestigous university with a low acceptance rate or applying to one. By all means make that a goal. But please be wise about that goal. The point of a university is to graduate prepared for an active place in the world; the point isn’t just to get accepted to “the best one possible.”

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   How do wealthy kids get into elite colleges?

   The Glossary: Ivy

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Do you need to have your major picked out already?

High school students often feel pressure to have their college major already chosen by the time they apply to college. The pressure to have their plan already figured out comes for the application process itself, which often asks why you’ve chosen the major you indicated in your application. It comes from teachers and counselors at school. A lot of the time, it comes from parents. This is really important: you don’t have to have a major picked out yet.

There are situations where it’s definitely more convenient to already have a major in mind. Large universities, often divided into separate schools with their own applications and requirements, make it hard to get started as a completely Undecided major. It also helps to know your major from day one if you want to graduate from college early…or even on time. There are financial considerations, too. I tell people all the time that if your honest idea about a major is “I don’t know,” then there are plenty of schools built for that. But they tend to be smaller, private liberal arts colleges. And those are often more expensive than larger public universities in your state.

On the other hand, it’s not always a good idea to get too caught up in a chosen major, especially if you’re not feeling too sure about it. You’re likely to change your major anyway—around a third of college students do. And feeling like you “have to” know your life path by the time you’re 18-19 is about as practical as feeling like you “have to” find a life partner by the time you’re 25. It just doesn’t really work that way for most people, even if it would be more convenient and efficient.

Most of the people I work with don’t have a single, clear major chosen by the time they graduate high school. But most of them have an idea of what direction they’re going. Or several possible directions. So if it’s helpful for people who haven't gone through the process to see what’s “normal,” here are examples from the class of 2022 that I’ve worked with (I changed all the names). You can see the variety of schools they end up going to. I live and work in Texas, so it’s no surprise that many of them end up at the University of Texas.

Blair is solidly undecided. They think they’re leaning towards a STEM major, maybe Chemistry? But they’re really relying on college as a place to help them figure out their path, not college as a stepping stone on their path. Blair will be attending Trinity University.

Katherine is STEM-focuesd and very interested in ecology. She will probably end up majoring in Chemistry or Environmental Science. Katherine will be attending UC San Diego.

Liz is undecided. She’s interested in psychology and film, or maybe something else altogether. Liz will be attending Bates College.

Henry is one of the most decided people I’ve worked with when it comes to a major. He wants to major in Mechanical Engineering. Henry will be attending UT Austin in the Cockrell School of Engineering, in the honors program for mechanical engineering.

Lexi wants to double major in Neuroscience and Women & Gender Studies. She’s thinking seriously about med school, and she’s seriously interested in the disparity of medical treatment among men and women in the US. Lexi will be attending the University of Arizona.

Hannah is undecided, but focused on humanities, possibly Political Science. Hannah will be attending American University.

Layla had her mind set on a pre-vet program, but then later in high school she got really interested in agricultural policy. I will not be surprised to see her go on to law school. Layla will be attending Baylor University.

Raj is interested in both Political Science and Chemistry. He also has a passion and natural talent for linguistice. Raj will be attending UT Austin.

Yash is interested in many things, including Political Science, Global Studies, Business, and Education. Yash will be attending UT Austin.

Rachel hasn’t got a major picked out, but it will definitely be in the Humanities. Communication, perhaps? Rachel will be attending the University of Virginia.

Sarah is thinking about majoring in Business, Computer Science, and/or Engineering. She has experience with all three through working in her family business. But she can also envision herself moving towards Literature or Anthropology. Sarah will be attending Dartmouth.

Hannah is very focused on business, so it makes sense that Hannah will be attending Bentley University.

Cara has a variety of interests and hasn’t got a clear major yet. Cara will be attending UT Austin. She applied with the Moody School of Communication as her top choice, but is already trying to move to the McCombs School of Business. She hopes to make the move official at Freshman Orientation.

Molly is a charismatic performer who had a different idea for a major almost every time I spoke to her. Theater. Film. Costume Design. Business with an art industry focus. Music production. Molly will be attending Southwestern University.

From my experience, this snapshot of 14 is pretty typical. There are a few who have a strong sense of that they want, applied to only a few schools, and made the choice fairly easily. Most have a big-picture idea of what they want to do, and will figure out the details in college. These students applied to more schools and had more difficulty making their final choice. And some are still pursuing a wide array of interests. They have very little focus on a major or career path, though they are some of the most energetic and accomplished of the bunch. Several of them made the decision, literally, on the last day.

There are lots of ways to get where you’re going, especially if you don’t know where that is.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Stop telling people you’re going to double major!

   Picking the right school for your major

   Will a Humanities degree make you poor?

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Three quick questions with the University of Arkansas

For Three Quick Questions, I send the same three questions to admission representatives at colleges all over the country, and then I hope to hear back from them. The three questions are meant to probe some of the things that make a school unique but that aren’t easily captured as a stat to go in a book or web search.

Today’s response is from Charles Robinson, Admissions counselor and Regional recruiter at The University of Arkansas in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

What is a course, tradition, program or event that is unique to the University of Arkansas?

One of the unique traditions we have at the University is senior walk. After you graduate from the University of Arkansas, your name will be cemented into the sidewalk of our campus. We are the largest university to do this, and we will continue to. 

Naturally every college wants to recruit the perfect student--high grades, high test scores, involved in their community, leadership...everything. But what kinds of imperfect students tend to flourish at Arkansas?

What's great about our University is our admission requirements. You only must get a 3.0 GPA and a 20 on the Act and 1030 on the SAT. These relaxed admission requirements allow students who aren't perfect get a chance to attend the University. As you also know, high school curriculum is a different learning style than college, so many students who have good grades in high school may not have good grades in college. The same is true for people who didn't do well in high school may do very well in college. It's all about the student and our university caters to everyone's strengths.

When people come to visit Fayetteville, what's a place off campus that you recommend they check out while they're there?

As a native to Fayetteville (Fayettevillians what we call ourselves) I know the area has array of things to do. Arkansas is an outdoorsy state. Fayetteville has loads of trails, hiking, biking, canoeing, and fishing spots. In terms of arts, we have Crystal Bridges and the Momentary which are all world class art museums. For music venues, we have the Walton Arts Center for Broadway shows and the Walmart AMP for concerts for musicians. NWA is a great place and more is being added every year.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. See which other colleges and universities answered the questions.

3. Is there a school you’d like to hear from? Let me know, and I’ll make sure they get the questions.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth. [The banner photo is not of U of Arkansas. I use the same photo for all Meet the Class posts so you can spot them easily.]

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Three quick questions with Rhodes College

For Three Quick Questions, I send the same three questions to admission representatives at colleges all over the country, and then I hope to hear back from them. The three questions are meant to probe some of the things that make a school unique but that aren’t easily captured as a stat to go in a book or web search.

Today’s response is from Caleb Fowler, Senior Assistant Director of Admission at Rhodes College in Memphis, Tennessee.

What is a course, tradition, program or event that is unique to Rhodes College?

Right off the bat, Rhodes is distinctive from most other colleges by being one of the only liberal arts colleges located in a major city. That combination allows students the personalized collegiate experience that many desire out of a liberal arts environment along with the opportunity to practice what they learn in a city that’s accessible and welcoming.

Additionally, our honor code is a tradition that we highly value.  While many colleges have honor codes, what’s different about the Rhodes the honor system is that it’s completely student-run and truly apparent everywhere on campus in daily life.  From students feeling comfortable leaving laptops and backpacks unattended knowing that no one will touch them to students refusing to step on the seal that represents our honor code, it really shapes students' campus experiences.

Naturally every college wants to recruit the perfect student--high grades, high test scores, involved in their community, leadership...everything. But what kinds of imperfect students tend to flourish at Rhodes?

One type of imperfect student who would succeed at Rhodes is one who is unsure of what they want to study. We’re a great place for the curious. Whether a student has an idea or not about a field they want to study, they will leave Rhodes having sampled many various disciplines and skillsets that they can apply to their post-collegiate lives.

When people come to visit Memphis, what's a place off campus that you recommend they check out while they're there?

I recommend the Crosstown Concourse just a mile from campus. It's a recently renovated “urban, vertical village” repurposed out of an old Sears distribution center that hosts restaurants, art galleries, bars, boutiques, and a theatre among other attractions. It's a great place to go study, grab a bite, or wander.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. See which other colleges and universities answered the questions.

3. Is there a school you’d like to hear from? Let me know, and I’ll make sure they get the questions.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth. [The banner photo is not of Rhodes. I use the same photo for all Meet the Class posts so you can spot them easily.]

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Three quick questions with McDaniel College

For Three Quick Questions, I send the same three questions to admission representatives at colleges all over the country, and then I hope to hear back from them. The three questions are meant to probe some of the things that make a school unique but that aren’t easily captured as a stat to go in a book or web search.

Today’s response is from Chad Koontz, Admissions Counselor at McDaniel College in Westminster, Maryland.

What is a course, tradition, program or event that is unique to McDaniel College?

McDaniel has many campus traditions that have evolved over the institution’s over 155 years. One of the most meaningful is the ringing of the Old Main bell. The Old Main bell plays an important role in every McDaniel College student's experience. Each first-year student "rings-in" to be welcomed into the McDaniel community and, on graduation day, graduating seniors "ring-out" to complete their McDaniel experience. The Student Alumni Council also honors this tradition by ringing Old Main Bell as they read the names of alumni who have passed to show respect for their alumni experience. View more McDaniel traditions at this link.

Naturally every college wants to recruit the perfect student--high grades, high test scores, involved in their community, leadership...everything. But what kinds of imperfect students tend to flourish at McDaniel?

What we look for at McDaniel is a student with an open mind, who enjoys being involved in their community and has a passion for learning new things in a unique learning environment.

When people come to visit Westminster, what's a place off campus that you recommend they check out while they're there?

The JeannieBird Baking Company started as a farmers' market stall in the summer of 2008 and is now a physical location that has become a landmark on Main Street in Westminster, within walking distance to McDaniel’s campus. It is a great place for students to study, indulge in fresh brewed coffee and baked goods, or hang with friends.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. See which other colleges and universities answered the questions.

3. Is there a school you’d like to hear from? Let me know, and I’ll make sure they get the questions.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth. [The banner photo is not of McDaniel. I use the same photo for all Meet the Class posts so you can spot them easily.]

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

What should current 9th and 10th graders do this summer?

You should not do anything that is boring or onerous just because you think it might “look good to colleges.” Colleges prefer that you are in interesting person, and there’s nothing interesting about wasting your time and energy just because you’re insecure about someone else’s approval. Don’t jump through any metaphorical hoops (or literal ones, either, I guess) based on vague ideas of what colleges want.

What should sophomores do this summer to be better prepared for college?

Train. You're like a professional athlete during the off-season. You get a lot more flexibility with your schedule and a lot fewer people watching you as you work, but you've got to spend this time productively. Does this mean to fill up your day with summer school classes and be a constant student? No. Like pro athletes, find another way to enhance the skills you have.

Think about your notable skills and talents, the things that you may want to emphasize on college applications. Now find interesting ways to hone those skills and talents. How can you best prove and improve your resilience, passion, intellectual curiosity, initiative, talent, creativity, empathy, or leadership? The more unlike another high school class or program the activity is, the better.

So, for example, going to a weeklong camp for debaters is good, but volunteering to do door-to-door canvasing for a local political campaign is better. Reading books ahead of time for your 11th grade English class is good, but starting a book club that focuses on foreign or lesser-known books is better. Taking a class for adults at the local community college is good, but teaching younger kids in a summer program is better. The most important thing is that you focus on yourself and the qualities you want to improve, not focus on a vague sense of "looks good to colleges." Do everything you can with your summer time--in any setting, be it a summer job, summer camp, traveling, or staying close to home--to be a better person, not have a better résumé. 

Push yourself. If you need to work or want a job, that's great. As far as college is concerned it really doesn't matter what that job is so long as you work hard at it and are reflective about what you learn from the job. As you go to work, remind yourself to work as hard as you can. And when you're done, ask yourself what you learned from that day's work. Those two things matter so much more to everyone than the job title or name of the company. 

If you don't need to work and don’t want to work, then make other plans. And here's the trick: treat it like a job, in the sense that you decide to do your best and be reflective. Even if you have the cushiest summer imaginable--maybe you're going to spend two months as a VIP on a cruise ship sailing around the Caribbean--you can still get a lot out of this. Just begin each day reminding yourself to make the most of the day, and end each day reflecting about what you learned. Whatever is you do, it can be useful for your college applications and useful for your productive and interesting life.

Go someplace new. Choose someplace you've never been that you can visit this summer. Geographically, it doesn't matter how close or far the place is, so long as it's new to you. It can be another country, another state, or another neighborhood. Try to get a sense of how people unlike yourself spend their days, and do it with an open and empathetic mind.

Goal of 20. Another way you can make the most of your summer is to give yourself a goal of 20. Make 20 visits to local museums or parks. Have 20 intentional interactions with older members of your family asking them about their experiences. Read 20 books. Watch 20 of the best movies of all time. Find 20 items to donate to charity. Run 20 miles, spread out over as many days as you need. The number 20 is arbitrary, but an arbitrary number helps make a vague idea an achievable goal. Every time you knock out one of your 20, remind yourself to be deliberate and reflective.

What should 9th graders do this summer to be better prepared for college?

Anything! You can do just about anything, I mean it. In terms of preparing for the next three years of high school, preparing for college, and preparing for productive adulthood, there's no magical activity that you really must do to get ready. Do your thing, no matter what it is (within reason--if your current thing is chaotic or self-destructive then take care of that first).

At this point, what you do isn't nearly as important as how you do it. Whether you're doing amazing, once-in-a-lifetime things like volunteering with veterinarians at a wildlife refuge in Botswana or mundane things like babysitting your little brother, you can make the most of it. Be reflective. Ask yourself "how did today go, and what can I do tomorrow that will be interesting?" Every day. Read something that relates to what you're doing. Even if all you're doing is walking aimlessly around the neighborhood trying to find someone to hang out with, stop at the local library and learn about the history of your neighborhood and go inside shops you've never been in before. Take photos of weird things you notice around the neighborhood. Be engaged with your world and your mind, whatever you're doing in the world. 

Write about your experiences. Writing about what you do on a regular basis serves several goals. For one, any college-bound person has got to be very comfortable with a lot of writing, so practicing on your own with your own assignments helps build up your discipline in a way that's more palatable to you. It will also help you maintain and deepen your self-reflection that's so vital for your off-time. You’re not trying to draft college application essays or make it into a novel. You’re just practicing writing in your own voice about what’s interesting to you.

Make a product. Toward the end of the summer, make some sort of product. Select some journal entries to make into full-on essays. Select and edit some photos to make a narrative photo essay. Make an interactive map of the places you visited. Make a book of advice for someone starting the job that you worked. Again, you can do almost anything. The idea is to curate and edit your experience into something that you can share. That's kind of a definition of education, isn't it?

Meet someone new. Right, of course you're going to meet new people over the summer. But what I'm talking about is to proactively and intentionally introduce yourself to new people that you've chosen to meet. Circumstance, coincidence, serendipity, and providence bring all sorts of people into our lives. That doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't work to bring others into our lives through our own intentions and effort.

Practice some form of meditation and contemplation. There's probably no better gift you can give yourself than to start the habit of meditation and contemplation. There are dozens of different traditions and techniques to fit any religious, cultural, and personal background. Here is a pretty solid introduction to 23 of them. Choose one and try it. It doesn't have to be a religious or spiritual exercise. It can just be good relaxation. 

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these other posts:

   What should current juniors do this summer?

   It’s not the choice you make, it’s how you explain it.

   The secret to success? Here are two of them.

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

What should current juniors do this summer?

Some high school juniors are already far along in their college admission process. Through personal ambition, pressure from family, high school requirements, or a combination of those, they have a clear sense of where they will apply, why they’ve chosen those colleges and universities, and how to go about it. Many high school juniors will not start thinking about college admission until their senior year begins. But most college-bound juniors are starting their admission season right about now, toward the end of 11th grade. If you’re one of those juniors—or an adult who cares about one of those juniors—then you should check out my post from last week, “Four things juniors should do now, before the end of the school year.” Read that first, and then come back to this.

What follows are my recommendations for things you can do this summer to make your fall semester a little easier. It’s not a checklist to do in order, though. Each piece can affect all the other pieces, and you’ll find yourself updating and going through the cycle multiple times.

Go on college visits. You should visit some colleges. I mean this in the broadest sense, though. It doesn’t have to be a weeklong trip with family where you will personally visit three or more colleges that you think you’ll probably end up applying to. That’s great if you can do it, but most families can’t. After campuses shut down because of the pandemic, most began offering high-quality online virtual tours (or improved the ones they already had). Even though campus is open again, those virtual offerings are still available. Take advantage of these to look at schools you’re interested in.

As far as college visits go, you don’t even have to visit schools you’ll be applying to. I’m a big fan of visiting colleges near you just to get a feel for college in general. Tour the large public university nearest you, the small liberal arts college nearest you, and anything in between. I live in Houston, so I encourage people to visit the University of Houston, Rice University, the University of St. Thomas, and Sam Houston State University. You may not be interested in actually attending any of those colleges, but it will quickly and easily give you a sense of the difference between a large public university, a mid-sized regional public university, a private research university, and a small private university. Three of them are centrally located in the heart of Houston, and the other is just over an hour away.

Write and revise a College Mission Statement. Start with the formula “I want to _____ at a _____ college with _____.” For example, “I want to study engineering and/or financial mathematics at a small- to medium-sized university in or near an urban area, preferably not in the Northeast, with an intramural sports program.” Fill in the blanks as thoroughly and honestly as you can. For more on writing a College Mission Statement, start here.

Put together a game plan. You don't need to start on your applications yet, but it helps to have a plan for how you will go about finishing your applications. Here are some questions to ask yourself to get an outline ready for your next semester:

• What personal qualities do you want to project in your application? Examples of the kind of qualities I'm talking about include resilience, passion, intellectual curiosity, initiative, talent, creativity, empathy, and leadership. Think of one or two of your strongest qualities that will be the focal point of your applications. Your essay will center on these qualities, and you'll try your best to arrange for your recommendation letters to center on them.

• What concrete evidence do you have--other than grades and test scores--of those qualities? What stories can you tell that exemplify those qualities? Who can vouch for you when it comes to these qualities?

• What are the primary qualities of a college that will be a good place for you? How, other than by looking at rankings or reputation, will you know when a school is right for you? It helps to have an idea about this before you start looking too closely at individual schools. Knowing if a school has what you want can prove difficult if you don't know what you want. 

• Is there a school for which you think you should apply early? Why?

• What are the major application deadlines? Begin with the general. Early applications are generally due in early November, regular decision applications are generally due in early January. As you build and then narrow down your own college list, you can find more specific deadlines for your schools. How do those fit with the rest of your schedule, both at school and outside of school?

• What are the gaps in your understanding that you need to fill in? It can be quite difficult to know what it is that you don't know, but make sure you've looked through the Common Application as best as you can and identify any major holes in your timeline or knowledge.

Talk to your family about money. By the end of the year, you're going to need to send away paperwork with very detailed and personal financial information, including your parents' tax forms. You're going to decide where the line is between affordable and unaffordable. You're going to to decide how much you and/or your family is willing to borrow for your education. The sooner you begin these difficult conversations, the better. They rarely go well the first time around, so you don't want to wait until the deadline to have the first time around. If your family’s financial circumstances have changed recently through unemployment, depletion of savings, loss of investment value, and/or extra costs associated with the pandemic and lockdown, then you’ll need to revisit your financial discussions often.

Draft some essays. Even if you don’t have a college list ready, you’ve probably got a good idea of the essays you will need to write for your applications. The essay prompts for the Common Application are available. So are the essay prompts for the separate application for public universities in your state, if they have an application separate from the Common Application. Look those over. You can begin working on those now.

Most of the seniors I work with end up having two “big” essays—around 600 words—that they use. Sometimes one gets submitted for the Common Application, and another gets used for scholarship applications or shortened for supplemental questions. When I work with a senior I end up seeing several versions of the same response, at lengths from 150 to 1,000 words, constantly updated and re-used. You can begin those now, even without prompts. In fact, it’s best to begin without thinking about a prompt. Think about your qualities that you want to highlight, the big ideas that excite you, and the stories about yourself that you end up repeating to adults often. If it helps, here are some questions to consider:

• What are you most proud of?

• What do teachers or other adults praise you for?

• How would you explain yourself to a stranger?

• What separates you from your friends at school?

• What gets you intellectually excited? What do you do when you’re excited?

• What’s happened to you in the past three years that has most changed who you are?

• You’ve matured in the past three years—what evidence or stories have you got to show it?

• What’s the most recent un-assigned book you loved?

Narrow down your list of colleges. There are around four thousand colleges and universities in the US to choose from. By then end of your junior year, you want to have that narrowed down to no more than 50. By the beginning of your senior year, you want to have that narrowed down again to about 25. By application time, it will be narrowed down to between four and twelve (for most people), and by May 2022 it will need to be narrowed down to one or two. For each, make sure you do these things:

• Go to the school’s website and sign up to be on their mailing list.

• Look at the school’s web pages for any majors you’re interested in.

• Look over the school’s financial aid and scholarships web pages.

• Try to find the admissions staff assigned to your geographic area. Most schools still divide their admissions staff geographically, and many post that information on their website. You’ll know exactly who is in charge of your application.

• Look up their policy on campus tours. If you sign up for their prospective student mailing list, they’ll let you know if and when it changes.

• Find out if and how they conduct interviews.

• Find and if and how they handle gap year requests.

• If your high school counseling office uses Naviance or similar software, put the college into your college list there so your counselor can see.

• Get the information you need to try out their net price calculator.

Take care of yourself. The junior year is the most difficult for many high school students. You've just finished yours, and it may have been your first “normal” year of high school…which isn’t normal. You need to prepare for your senior year and college applications, but you don't need to neglect your immediate well-being. Get rest. Read something for pleasure. Have a long talk with an interesting person. Ask some good questions instead of always being the one called on to answer questions. Be a person, and be the healthiest one you can.

Thanks for reading! Next week I’ll have summer tips for other grades. If you enjoyed this post, here are some easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.