Most of the college application essays I look at involve explaining some sort of change. Several of the Common Application essay prompts ask about change:
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Every change essay I read involves, at least at first, a before/after structure.
“I lived in this type of environment, but then I moved and had to change my perspective.”
“I really struggled as a student at first, but then became much more successful.”
“I used to really over-schedule myself, but I’ve learned to focus on a few quality activities over too much quantity.”
The most troubling before/after essays are the ones that put all their energy into the before and dedicate very little space to the after. You don’t quite accomplish your goal by spending 80% of your essay on where you no longer live, or how bad a student you were, or how poorly you managed your time, and then only 20% on the newer, more successful version of yourself. If you’re going to have a before/after essay, then make sure only 20% is on the old and 80% explains the new. After all, it’s the present you that is applying to college, not the past you.
But even the good change essays benefit by expanding the structure. Instead of before/after, think of beginning/middle/end. And here’s the key: the middle is the most interesting part. It shows how you’ve changed, not just that you did. It has verbs. It shows how you’ve adjusted your thinking and habits. It shows you developing and doesn’t just ask the reader to trust that you’ve developed. Make room—a lot more room—for the middle.
It’s October, so let’s use a Halloween example—the werewolf. 1941’s The Wolf Man uses a before/after technique. Larry looks down at his legs, and they quickly change from human legs to furry legs. That’s it. The whole process takes about 20 seconds, and we don’t see any other part of him change. In the next scene, we see him, full werewolf, running through a foggy woods. That’s what most before/after essays are like. “I changed! I’m different now!”
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But skip ahead 40 years to An American Werewolf in London. David’s transformation into a werewolf takes almost three minutes, and we the audience see almost every hair grow, every change in his body. The transformation itself is interesting, not just the after-effects.
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In your change essay the transformation, the things that happened right after the event that prompted the change, is the best part. It tells the audience—the admissions people deciding if they think you’re a good fit for their university—what kind a a person you are, and how you became that person. They can see your thinking, your process, your dedication.
If you moved to a new place and had to get used to a new environment, what were the things you tried? What worked, and what didn’t? Who, if anyone, helped you?
If you struggled as a student but then turned things around, what was that process like? What were the things you tried? What worked, and what didn’t? Who, if anyone, helped you?
If you were over-scheduled and had to adjust, how did you go about narrowing down your activities? What did you prioritize, and why? What were others’ reactions to your changes? Who, if anyone, helped you?
To use another movie example, consider the training montage. The training montage is how a movie condenses days, weeks, or months of transformation into just a few minutes. It gives glimpses into the process without taking up too much time showing the entire process. It focuses on moments of small victories that lead to the large-scale victory. Since a Common App essay only gets 650 words maximum, you need to do the same thing. Explain the process of change in a way that highlights the process but is also efficient with words. Like a training montage.
“I lived in this type of environment, but then I moved and had to change my perspective” becomes “I lived in this type of environment, but then I moved. I was able to identify a mentor, and I tried out a handful of unfamiliar things before finding something new that I’m good at. When I move into another new environment for college, I’ll know how to adjust to the change.”
“I really struggled as a student at first, but then became much more successful” becomes “I really struggled as a student, and I knew I had to change. After several attempts, I found a time management system that works for me, and I made after-school tutoring a normal part of my routine. Maybe I’m not valedictorian, but I’m ready for college in a way that I wasn’t a year ago.“
“I used to really over-schedule myself, but I’ve learned to focus on a few quality activities over too much quantity” becomes “I over-scheduled myself and was miserable. I took a self-designed retreat to get some rest and map my priorities. Then I balanced one academic club with one sport, and now I’m able to be a contributing team member instead of an undependable participant.”
When you add the middle, the before/after essay itself transforms into something stronger, more focused, and more likely to succeed. Much like yourself.
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