July has been full of student essays for me, and I expect the same of August. I strongly believe that college-bound seniors should have a solid draft of at least one application essay before the first day of school. It’s one of the larger—if not largest—tasks on your application, so giving it lots of time is wise. If you haven’t quite begun yet, are in the middle of drafting and revising, or feel you’re just about finished—here are four tips for improving your essay.
Add first, cut later. The main Common Application essay has a maximum of 650 words, and most students aim to use all 650. Ideally, your first draft should be more than 650 words. When you’re doing your first round of writing, don’t worry about word count at all. Most important, don’t worry about your essay being too long. I get nervous when a student sends me a first draft and it’s 652 words. Sometimes that means I’m not actually looking at a first draft, but something they’ve already edited down. But usually it means that the student worked on their first draft with a word count in mind, forcing themselves to stop at 650. They were too focused on length and not enough on the content of what they’re trying to explain. I love to see first drafts at 1000, 1200, 1500 words. That gives us a lot to work with.
Once a first draft comes to me that’s over 650 words, most students expect the next step is that I’ll give suggestions to get it down below the maximum word count. But I don’t. The first thing I ask for is more. More details, more examples, more explanation. I always want students to add before they cut. Cleaning up paragraphs and sentences to get the word count down is usually the last step of the process. It happens on draft six or seven, not draft two. Your strongest writing is going to happen when you add first, cut later.
Do you really need that hook? It seems to be a truth universally acknowledged that a college application needs to begin with a “hook.” A hook is often an intensely narrated scene or vignette that sets up the essay to follow. Its main goal is to “draw the reader in” or “grab the reader’s attention.” I am, as a rule, anti-hook. Your first paragraph does indeed need to be very well written and engaging. But so does your second paragraph. And every paragraph after that. With only 650 words to use, you don’t have time to devote a full paragraph only to fancy writing. The first paragraph needs to do a lot more than that.
So try this: remove the first paragraph of your essay and see what information is missing. What gets lost when you remove the first paragraph, other than a hook? If the rest of the essay simply makes no sense without that first paragraph, then congratulations! You avoided the hook trap. If the essay mostly works without the paragraph, but a few key things are missing, then work to get those key things into other paragraphs, or at least shorten the first paragraph. This will leave you room in your essay for more concrete details, which are far more important than a hook anyway. If your essay can begin at the second paragraph without losing anything, get rid of the the first paragraph. Now you’ve freed up a lot of room for better writing. Again, I want to stress: all the things you do for a hook you should do for all your paragraphs. Use precise and descriptive language, avoid cliches, do everything you can to hold onto that reader’s attention. But please don’t waste 20% of your essay with a hook for hook’s sake.
Spend more time working on verbs. How do you make your entire essay more hook-ish? How do you make your writing stronger, more attention-grabbing, yet also shorter and to the point? Focus on verbs. All the effort you might spend on a hook, you should be spending on verbs. That’s the secret weapon.
And it’s simple to do. Go through your draft and circle (on a hard copy) or highlight (on a screen) all the To Be verbs. You probably have a lot—most of us do. They’re the most common verbs in English, and they’re also the most vague. Spend as much time as it takes to eliminate at least a third of those To Be verbs and replace them with something more active. If you can replace half of them, that’s even better.
For example: “I am on the tennis team and I’m also a tennis coach” can become “I play tennis for the school and I also coach tennis.” Or “I am president of our NHS chapter” becomes “I lead our NHS chapter.” You’ll make stronger verbs, and you’ll probably also help lower your word count.
Include the past, present, and future. Most of your application will be focused on the past. You’re explaining things you’ve done, challenges you’ve overcome, and interests you’ve explored. That’s normal. But keep an eye on time as you’re writing. Don’t spend too much time in the distant past. If you need to refer to something that happened before high school that’s fine, but don’t spend any more words than necessary on a distant past. Also, be sure to include the present as much as possible. If you overcame an obstacle in the 10th grade and improved your life, fantastic. Explain what happened and what you gained from it. But also include the present. How are you currently applying what you learned from the episode? How are you currently improving the skills you gained? How is the quality you’re trying to explain currently showing up in your life? Don’t let your essay begin before 9th grade if you can help it, and don’t let it end before 12th grade.
While it’s present you who is applying to college, it’s future you who will actually be in college. Admissions readers aren’t just looking at the present you, they’re trying to figure out how future you may fit into their school. Keep this in mind, and make it easier for them. Whatever quality or characteristic you’re presenting in your essay, how do you see it being manifested over the next five years? How would you like those qualities and characteristics to develop and grow, and what kinds of challenges will help you achieve that? Your last paragraph is a good place to bring this up. Remember, it’s not that you have grown, are done growing, and will only be your full grown self at college. You’re expected to keep growing, through both successes and failures. Let them know how much you understand that and are looking forward to it.
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