What's changed since Covid?

Last week I had a lovely time talking with a local PTO about college admission. I was specifically asked to talk about how the admission process has changed since Covid. That’s a great question, and I talked about three changes that I’ve seen in my own small practice over the past few years. From everything I’ve read about nationwide trends, my experience seems to be pretty typical of admission for most people.

So what’s different?

1. I talk about testing a lot less.

To be clear: All of my clients have taken at lease one SAT (usually administered at school during the school day). Some take it more than once, and some have also taken the ACT. Most of them are choosing to submit test scores in their applications. Testing has not disappeared.

And around 4% of colleges require test scores—MIT is a notable example. So please carefully check the policies of any school you’re thinking of applying to. Most schools who are going to announce any changes to their testing policy will do so this summer, so check again in the fall.

But many schools that relaxed their testing requirements for Covid have decided to stay permanently test optional, and some are going test blind and not looking at test scores even if you have them—the University of California system is a notable example of this trend.

Testing is still a part of the application, it’s just not the stressor it was a few years ago. Almost everyone takes the test once or twice, accepts their scores for what they are, and then moves on. It’s been two years since I’ve had any kind of “testing strategy” conversation. Once or twice I’ve spent a few minutes talking with a client about whether I recommend they re-test. Once or twice I’ve chatted about the pros and cons of test prep. I’ve had a single conversation this year about whether a test scores is “good,” or “good enough.” And a quick email about whether or not to report scores. That’s it. Probably a 90% decrease in time spent thinking about, talking about, and writing about standardized tests.

(The most common test-related question I’ve had so far this spring is about whether certain colleges prefer the SAT or ACT. The students admit that colleges say that they don’t have a preference, but wonder if they really do have a preference. They do not have a preference. Colleges are very used to both ACT and SAT scores.)

In the big picture, I think this de-emphasis on testing is a really great thing. Of all the things you do to make a stronger college application, standardized tests have the shortest longevity. Better grades in high school, a stronger essay, more connection with your community, more activity out in the world—all of these things are a better use of your time in the long run than getting high SAT/ACT scores. So I’m fine with this development, especially for otherwise bright and promising students who just don’t do as well at timed, high-pressure, multiple-choice exams.

I also acknowledge that the de-emphasis on testing can be frustrating for students who had hoped to make their test scores the centerpiece of their application. You can still report your scores, of course. And really high scores are never going to be a hindrance to your application. But students should be a lot less confident on their acceptance to colleges based solely on high test scores than they could a few years ago—and they shouldn’t have been over-confident a few years ago.

2. The whole process has moved up by about two months.

My first few years doing this, December was really busy for me. Clients were finishing up applications for Regular Decision deadlines in early January. There were lots of questions, lots of last-minute changes to their college list, and quite a bit of last-minute edits to essays. Then I would have little to do in January and February, wondering if I would even be able to continue doing this work since nobody was inquiring about my services. But a little later, mostly in the week before Spring Break and the week after, calls and emails would start coming in, and I had close to a full roster by May.

The past two years, that whole cycle has been accelerated by two months. October has been really stressful, and applications have been largely finished by November 1. Almost everyone I work with has applied early—whether through Early Decision, Early Action, or just turning a regular application in early—to at least one school. Many, though not all, had at least one acceptance by mid-December and didn’t submit any more applications. Even the ones who sent January applications were still pretty much done early, though, since they had already finished things up for a November deadline. December has been pleasantly slow.

Just as things are wrapping up a few months earlier than before, things are beginning earlier. I almost always only begin working with students in their junior year, and March and April used to be when I brought most people on board. Now, I’m getting calls and emails in the first half of 11th grade. I had about half of my current juniors by the end of December, and by Spring Break this year I was turning people away because I have all the clients I need. January and February are no longer quiet, but now really busy.

I don’t know to what extent this earlier schedule is a national trend. It could easily be that I’m getting client inquiries earlier just because I’ve been doing this a bit longer and am more established. But I know that early applications are definitely on the rise, so I suspect that the timing shift is bigger than just my small sample.

3. There’s no “normal” number of applications any more.

I used to tell students that ideally they will be applying to four to eight schools, and that most apply to eight to twelve. I still talk about the four-to-eight goal, but there’s no longer a “normal” or “average” number of applications for my students.

As I said, the past two years have seen more students applying to a few schools early, getting accepted, and being finished. Although the number of clients who apply to only one college is still pretty small, it’s double what it used to be. And the number of clients who apply to four or fewer schools is also a lot higher. So, fewer applications…

…except the students who don’t apply early, or don’t get accepted early, are typically applying to more schools. If there’s not early success, then they get nervous and feel the need to send out more applications, just in case. I’ve had a lot of clients in the past two years apply to more than 15 colleges overall. Last year someone applied to 23. So students are applying to fewer schools or to more schools, but not as many students are applying to the middle of range of four to 12.

Those are the major changes I’ve seen in the past few years. And they seem to be normal. It’s a mess out there, and I haven’t got a lot of hope in the near-to-mid-future that it will get better.

What advice do I have for parents and students considering these changes?

Consider early 11th grade as the ideal time to begin thinking seriously about college admission. I still don’t encourage 9th or 10th graders to get too involved, because there’s still so much time for so much to change. But I know lots of parents my age didn’t begin their own college admission process until 12th grade, and that’s just not nearly as feasible as it used to be.

Think of November 1 as your deadline, not January 1. Some of the large public universities have earlier deadlines, especially if you want financial aid or campus housing. If you’re in a position to consider Early Decision, then consider it seriously. While I used to have “will you apply ED to any of the schools on your list?” conversations, now I mostly have “to which school on your list will you apply ED?” conversations.

Building a balanced list of colleges is incredibly important. I want all my clients, no matter how impressive their transcript and resume, to apply to one or two schools they are very confident they’ll be accepted to. I don’t discourage anyone from applying to as many “highly rejective” colleges as they want, but we work hard to have realistic expectations, and I want those Dream School conversations to happen after the conversations about confident-in-acceptance schools.

Remember that the best way to prepare for college is to be a good high school student. It’s not about “tips and tricks” or strategy. It’s not about secret formulas or inside information. It’s about being the best version of you possible, and then clearly communicating who you are. And as I say as often as possible: when you see unhappy adults, they’re never unhappy because they didn’t get into their top-choice college twenty years ago. College is important, but getting into your Dream School just isn’t that important in the grand scheme. You’re going to be fine.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Four things juniors should do now, before the end of the year

   Three pandemic changes I hope become permanent

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Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring

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Things for parents to know about paying for college

Last night I had a great conversation with some neighbors about paying for college. Most of them I’ve known a long time, but this get-together was organized specifically for me to answer their questions—as best as I could—about college admission and affordability.

The discussion kept circling around two central themes. One, it is so important for parents to talk to their students about the cost of college, their expectations, and their budget. Soon. Don't save those conversations until after the finial aid offers come in. Secondly, because the cost of college can be so unpredictable and confusing, you have to apply broadly. This broad approach to cost mirrors the broad approach to admission. You need to apply to a few college that are a good fit and that you’re really confident you can afford. You can also apply to some that may or may not be realistic depending on how much merit aid they may offer. And you need to be aware of which schools are so selective that they offer no merit aid.

I wasn’t sure where the conversation would lead, and so I made sure to have my main “talking points” ready. We covered some of these, but not all. I’m sharing them here for anyone.

(I’m also compelled to point out that it’s October 1st, which means the FAFSA and CSS Profile are open for current seniors.)

You don’t know what any individual college will cost until your student applies and is accepted. You can get estimates. But how much your student gets depends on how much the other accepted students get, among other factors. So the price is different for everyone, and it’s not settled until aid offers are made to all the accepted students.

Talk to your student about the financial expectations. Be specific. Use numbers. The calmest students I work with are the ones who know what their budget is. Lots of parents don’t want to share too much about their financial situation. It’s common and understandable, but not practical. Be as upfront as possible about your financial goals and limits.

Chances are that nobody wants to pay for your student to go to college more than you do. Colleges usually do help with the cost, but it helps to understand their motives and limits. I sometimes hear parents say “If the college really wants my child to go there, they can offer more aid.” The amount of aid they offer is part of their business model and complicated formulations—not how much they like your kid.

Most parents I talk to say that they fall into that slice of people who make too much money to qualify for financial aid but don’t make enough money to pay for college. All those parents send their kids to college. I’ve yet to meet the person who didn’t go to college because their parents made too much money. Those families end up making choices they didn’t want to make, by choosing a more affordable school over the “dream school,” taking on more debt than they hoped to, and/or selling assets they wanted to keep. But they always choose college.

There are thousands of colleges in the US. Each is unique. But you can break them down into three broad categories: in-state public, out-of-state public, private. Each has a different price range, and each is going to have a different approach to aid.

Roughly 85% of students receive some kind of financial aid. Around 15% pay the “sticker price.” Only about 2% receive a “full ride.” Full athletic scholarships are actually very rare.

Most or all of your aid will come from the college. Start there. Lots of financial aid actually comes from the federal government, in the form of Pell grants and subsidized student loans. Many states also have grants for college affordability. But it’s the financial aid office at the school you attend who coordinates all those awards and loans. The money, even when it isn’t the school’s money, usually makes its way to you through the school.

Merit aid probably doesn’t mean what you think it does. There are several different flavors of merit aid, and it’s often unpredictable. It rarely has anything to do with what a student “deserves.” Again, nobody really wants to pay for your kid to go to college more than you do.

There are two forms you may be asked to fill out. Neither are fun or easy. The FAFSA is administered by the US Department of Education and relies on tax forms. Almost everyone uses this. The CSS Profile is administered by the College Board and tries to understand your assets, not just your income. Many private universities ask for this on top of the FAFSA.

Future earnings correlate to your major more than they do to your college.

Some debt is normal. And debt counts as “aid.” College students having around $30,000 total debt upon graduation is average. For most college grads, that’s manageable. You can get into real debt trouble if you take out much more than that, and you can get into real debt trouble if you borrow money but don’t finish your degree.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts:

   Thinking about Return on Investment

   Thinking about debt

   Three things parents should stop saying to their children

   Paying for college: some basic principles

   Not all merit aid is the same

3. Ask a question—or share other resources—in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

Seniors, it's time to decide!

High school seniors applying to college have, for most universities, until May 1st to choose a school and make their commitment. If you have competing offers and aid packages, then it may be difficult to decide. I can’t make the decision for you, but I can offer some advice for how to get yourself in the right frame of mind to make a wise choice.

Know how much input you want from your family, and let them know. This is your decision about your future. If your family is helping to pay for it, it’s also their decision. There’s plenty of room for conflict between you and your family over how to make the best choice. Some students really want the final say to be a communal decision, and some students really want their parents to just stay out of it and let them decide for themselves. Think about how much help you want from your family and then tell them that as clearly as possible. This may be a statement like “This is a really important decision, and I’d love to know what you think I should do and why.” Or “I know we’re all in this together, but for the next week I’d really like to think about things on my own and not talk about college with you.” Making these kinds of statements of your intentions now can make it easier in two weeks if you find yourself needing to say “I know this isn’t your top choice, but I really believe this is the best choice for me and I’d appreciate your support.” There’s of course no guarantee that your family is going to go along with what you request, but beginning with a short and concise statement about what you need is the best way to keep control over your situation.

While you’re at it, think about all your influences. You probably have people you trust, and whose opinions you value, other than your family. Ask those people their thoughts on your final choice. Explain the colleges you’re choosing between, and explain the benefits and risks of each of them. You may get good advice from them, and even if you don’t get good advice, you get the clarifying exercise of being able to articulate the benefits and risks of the contenders. Be careful, though, not to put too much stock in a single person’s opinion. Most people give advice based on their own experiences, which is great. But their experiences may not match yours, and their outlook may not be as pertinent to your situation as they believe. A person who had an exceptionally good or exceptionally bad college experience themselves may give advice that only works if your choices are also exceptional.

Your best friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend is not a good enough reason to choose a school. Of course you love them and want to be with them, and it will be difficult to be away. But college is one of your most significant life decisions, and it has to be based on your life—not just being near someone else while they pursue their own life. Would you let your friend tell you what city to live in, what job to take, who else you can be friends with? If not, then don’t let them dictate what college you go to.

Go back to your mission statement. Take a good look at your most recent College Mission Statement. Give the different schools you’re choosing from a detailed and accurate score based on what you decided you want. Do not change your College Mission Statement now just to make it favor one school over another! If one university has a higher score than the others, then that is the one that best matches what you decided you want for yourself. Don’t ignore that. If you have some sort of tie, then there are three things to think about: 1) this decision is going to be really difficult, 2) you’re not going to make a bad choice, so take comfort in that, and 3) at this point the smart thing to do is go with the one that costs less.

Think about the Wise Mind. I had a discussion once, about 20 years ago, that I never forgot. I was talking to a woman—I don’t remember her name or where we talked—who was a therapist, and she told me a rule to consider: always make decisions with the Adult Brain. The Child Brain thinks “I want.” It is impulsive, emotional, selfish, and ungrounded. It just wants what it thinks will be pleasurable. The Parent Brain thinks “I must.” It is consumed by obligation, sacrifice, and service. It defers its own needs to help someone dependent. But the Adult Brain thinks “I will.” It takes both desire and obligation into consideration, and tries to make a reasonable, productive decision. So, the therapist told me, it’s important to recognize that you have a Child Brain and a Parent Brain, but you should always make decisions—especially important decisions—with the Adult Brain.

The more up-to-date terminology for a similar idea is Wise Mind. Wise Mind doesn’t ignore rational thinking or emotion, but considers them both to make wise decisions. Here’s a short video about Wise Mind. To make your college decision using the Wise Mind is to avoid being overly influenced by pure emotion—I want to go to the college that my friend is going to; this college may not be as good a fit, but it’s well-known and people will be impressed when I tell them I go there; how can I pass up that amazing new student activity center? I can avoid an argument with my dad if I just go where he wants me to go. It will also avoid being overly influenced by pure reason—the estimated return on investment is higher at this school, so it would be stupid to pick the other one; this school has 5% more classes in my major than the other one; I’ve known about this school longer, so there must be a good reason for that. The Wise Mind will balance emotion and reason to make the most productive decision.

Practice explaining your decision. You’re going to need to tell people—friends, family, teachers, counselors—what you’ve decided. Practice saying this aloud as clearly as possible—not just where, but why. Make it into a single sentence. You don’t have to wait until you’ve chosen, either. If you’ve narrowed your choices down to two or three, then practice your explanations for all of them. That may make the decision a bit easier.

Once you’ve decided, don’t look back. You can spend the rest of your life wondering what would have been had you chosen a different school. That’s not a good use of your time. Sooner or later you have to stop wondering “what if” and start living the life in front of you. So you might as well do that May 2nd.

Best of luck to all the seniors making these final decisions. Remember: if you’ve got several good options in front of you to choose from, you’ve done a number of things right along the way. Congratulations!

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Check out these related Apply with Sanity posts:

   What to do when you get waitlisted.

   Don’t pass up a full ride.

   Asking for more financial aid.

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.

So NOW where do I want my kids to go to college?

About four years ago, I wrote a blog post about where I hoped my own two kids would go to college. I named three schools—Deep Springs College, St. John’s College, and Olin College of Engineering—but the main idea was that I picked those schools based on my own aspirations and prejudices, not anything to do with my kids. I warned students and parents to watch out for getting student goals too mixed up with parent goals. They often overlap, but they’re absolutely not the same thing.

My oldest is now a high school sophomore, so the “where do you want your kids to go to college?” question is a lot less abstract, and the consequences for my expressing too much of an opinion—or too little—can be much greater. So…where do I want my sophomore to go to college in two years?

The list is longer than three; there are around 25 colleges that would make me super excited to send my high schooler. And there are easily another few hundred that would make me happy. But now the list is based a lot less on my desires and lot more on my kid’s. They want a good school to major in mathematics, a low student-faculty ratio, and a small student population. Deep Springs, St. John’s, and Olin are all small schools with a great faculty ratio, but not as “math-y” as my kid wants. So my “dream school” for my kid has changed based on what they want to more closely align with their “dream school.”

That being said, I still have my own desires and blind spots I have to watch out for. For example, I don’t want them to go to Rice, because we live in Houston and I want them to go farther away from home. I also prefer a school with a strong humanities curriculum. I can say as much as I want that has to do with wanting a well-rounded experience for my kid, but we all know it’s because I’m a former English major and English teacher who wants my kid to take a lot more literature and art classes than they probably want to take. My kid’s probably going to be a full-pay student. I’m not necessarily looking for the least expensive option, but I’m going to make a big deal out of getting the most value for the money…even though I’m the first to admit that value is difficult to define.

There’s also a long-standing joke in our house that the kids can go wherever they want for college, as long it’s in a place their parents will enjoy visiting for a vacation. It’s just a joke—I won’t insist on California, the Rockies, or the New York City area. But man, I still hope they don’t end up in the rural Midwest.

I think I’ll be able to set my prejudices and aspirations aside and help my child choose the best option for them, but I know it’s going to take effort on my part. I have a lot of knowledge about colleges, and I have a lot of knowledge about my children. It would be irresponsible not to help guide them. But I also have my own interests that are separate from theirs, and that’s hard to let go of. It’s tricky work, and virtually every parent has to help their kid go through the same tricky work.

So what should families do?

Talk openly about the places where what the student wants differs from what that parents want. Make everyone aware of their own and each other’s dreams and blind spots. When it comes time to make difficult decisions, you can all keep each other honest and rational.

Identify dealbreakers for both parents and students. If parents have any “we will absolutely not support you going to _____ kind of college,” then they should state that as early as possible. For example, I worked with a student whose parents told her upfront that, although they could afford just about any school in the country, they were not willing to pay more than $40,000 per year. Nor would they support her applying for loans. So the student knew that she was welcome to apply to expensive private universities, but she would have to get scholarships to cover anything over $40,000. (She’s now at the much less than $40K University of Texas.) I understand that there are very few parents able to pay $160,000 cash for college, but it’s an example of parents making their dealbreakers known ahead of time.

I’ve learned over time that many students don’t have a strong geographic preference, but the ones that do don’t back down from those preferences. Students who say “I want to go to a small school” often end up at large schools. Students who say “I want to major in STEM” often end up with a humanities degree. But students who say “I don’t want to go to school in the South” don’t go to school in the South. If students have dealbreakers, they should make those clear.

Talk about money and understand what’s affordable. Every family has a line between “affordable” and “unaffordable.” The sooner you all know where that line is, the better. Affordability is likely to be the main factor for your final decision on where you go. So get the whole family used to that reality. But also make sure everyone in the family understands—really understands—the difference between list price and what you’re likely to pay. An admissions dean at a small liberal arts college once told me that they had students whose families could probably afford to buy the whole school, and they had students who literally couldn’t afford to go to the school if the school didn’t give them a full ride and pay for the bus fare to get there. The dean said it was important to have both kinds, and everything in between, for their mission. No student should decide not to apply to a college just because they don’t think they can afford it. But at the same time, no student should assume that a college will provide them with all the aid they need. You’ve got to spread a wide net.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are three easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Check out these related Apply with Sanity posts: Where do I want my kids to go to college? Three things parents should stop saying to their children, A good example of a family doing it right.

3. Ask a question in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.